Title: Within You, Without You
Chapter: 2/3
Author: Link Worshiper
Pairing: 1=2, hints of 3=4
Stuff: Duo language, fluff, sap, post-EW, pseudo-death, Duo POV
Disclaimer: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing is copyright Bandai, Sotsu and Sunrise Agency. I've only written this to show love of my favourite characters and for Bura's very Halloweeny birthday - she's the slickest nighttime ninja I know!
Notes: Happy birthday to the ninjas of the night, and thanks to Natea for helping me flesh out the ideas - this story is just as much for you as it is Bura!

Thanks to Fancy Figures for the beta-test.

++++

“In your house, I long to be.
Room by room,
Patiently,
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone.
I'll wait for you there,
Alone.”

-- Audioslave

++++

I gave up trying to connect with the past after that, though the incident was always in the back of my mind. After my birthday, I started going to see Sally to see if she could help me with my problems. She didn't put me on any pills, nor did she even try to refer me to a real headshrinker. Instead, she offered me her own time, and every Thursday afternoon, we'd sit in her office for an hour or so and she'd let me just… talk. It helped a lot, you know; I think I sorted out a lot of my baggage by going through those sessions.

We talked - or I talked - about many things: how I was doing, the weather and the news, who or what was pissing me off that week, work, the best meal I'd eaten recently….

We talked about Heero. Sally was good at listening; she never made me feel awkward, especially if we broached something that was particularly hard to discuss. She wasn't the shock of reality that Trowa was, nor was she the diplomat that Quatre was; she certainly wasn't the straight-faced ramrod Wufei was, either. She was more like… like the mom I wished I still had.

She told me I had to stop blaming myself for what had happened, and I knew she was more than right. “It wasn't anything you or Heero did,” she said. “It was just bad luck that Coquin did what he did and that Heero was the victim of it. You can't go through the rest of your life trying to detail a version of events that would have made things play out differently. You'll drive yourself crazy!”

“But what if things had been different?” I wanted to know, not about to give up on my one shred of hope. I suddenly found myself thinking seriously about the Halloween recording again; it would soon be a year since that particular night - and suddenly I wondered if that would be the ideal time to try again.

“Duo, the past isn't changing!” Sally said straightforwardly, leaning her elbows on her thighs and looking sternly into my eyes. I swallowed and baulked a bit. Sally could also be quite intense when she chose to be. I guess that's another reason she made me feel like her son.

I felt a lump rising in my throat, despite Sally's stern glare, and before I even realized it, words I never thought I'd say came pouring out. “I think of him almost every moment! Even now, I can still feel him nearby, Sally! It's like he never left,” I cried, jumping to the edge of my chair and leaning forward, feeling the wild look in my eye. “Wherever he was, was home to me, too! I go home to an empty house every day, and that's all it is anymore! Just a big, empty void.” Quietly, I added as an afterthought, “It's like I've lost my Yang.”

As I spoke, Sally's face morphed through a myriad of emotions. At first she had seemed a bit taken aback - startled, even - and then her features softened, an understanding expression turning her red lips.

“Sometimes,” I went on, my voice still just above a whisper, “I wonder if he'd have been able to bring me to something new, if he was still here. Allow me to come nearer to home. But I… I was a classic fool. I gave way, let him rush by, now he's taken flight - like all angels do.” I folded my hands across my forehead and stared down at the patterned rug beneath my shoes; the endless blue swirls made me think of Heero's eyes. “He was so close for so long, and I….”

“Duo….” I heard Sally say dimly in the background. I snatched my gaze away from the carpet, but the image of Heero's intense, Prussian blue eyes was still burned into my mind. I was startled to find that Sally had gotten up and crossed the room to the chair I sat in. She knelt down in front of me, taking my limp hands in hers and squeezing them tightly before suddenly pulling me into a tight embrace. My chin lay on her shoulder, and one of her soft, blond pigtails tickled my cheek. She just held me like that for - I don't even know how long - and then whispered, as she started to release me, “If you love him, Duo, you'll let him go.”

She swiftly got up and walked to her desk, sitting down and making a point of ignoring me, a silent hint that our session was over for the week. Still, I remained where I was for a few moments, just thinking. I couldn't do what she asked me. I would never love anyone ever again.

++++

Bzzt! BZZT!!!

Halloween was back with a vengeance this year. I hadn't bothered to take my usual pains to get together a costume; the last thing I wanted was to be bothered by anything. Instead, I'd ordered a ton of Chinese food and spent the evening watching a marathon of The Twilight Zone, while munching on one of the bags of chocolate I'd intended to leave out for Trick-or-Treaters.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

Kids fucking sucked, I decided with a grimace. Snatching up the bag of candy, I stormed over towards the door, hoping the kid was grateful that he'd bugged me during a commercial break. Practically tearing the door off its hinges, I glared down at the cowboy on the step with an intensity Heero would have been proud of. “Make it good, and make it snappy,” I said venomously as my hand plunged into the Hershey's bag, fishing around for another piece.

For a moment, the kid looked like he was debating whether or not it was a good idea to engage me, and I leaned in the doorframe, sucking on the chocolate I'd just unwrapped, making it no secret that I was not pleased about having my time wasted. At last, he got his act together and said in a most pathetic voice, “Uh, Mister? You're outta candy.” He pointed down to the empty bowl by his feet, which had no doubt been looted by two or three fuckwads who thought it was cool to take the whole shebang.

“What do I care?” I said, unwrapping another piece of chocolate and sticking it into my mouth. Normally, I probably would have said I was acting like a complete asshole, but I was feeling too low to even notice. Or care.

“Uhm….” He licked his chapped lips, staring at the bag of candy in my hand. “You wouldn't happen ta have anymore, would ya?”

I stared at him with a visage of expressionless sarcasm, like he'd just asked me to lob off my arm and hand it over. I could see his doting mother lingering on the sidewalk, and beyond her, a whole army of happy, shiny people. Halloween was a day for the fucking dead; I wished these other putzes would take the hint, already.

“Mister…?”

Like a stretched rubber band, my attention snapped back to the cowboy, who was still waiting for my answer. I took my weight off the doorframe, bunching the top of the candy bag in one hand as I uncrossed my arms, still staring. There was a moment where the young cowboy seemed to think I was going to give him some of my loot, but I was quick to stomp on that fantasy; “Fuck off, brat,” I snarled before turning on my heel and promptly slamming the door in the kid's face.

Well, I just won the award for biggest jackass on the face of the planet.

I leaned against the door and sunk to the ground, staring up at Heero's bedroom door, which was just visible at the top of the dark staircase. Well, this wasn't déjà vu, was it? From the living room, I heard the clock chime eight o'clock, the noise sounding like a loud echo in the lonely house. The flicker of the TV screen danced across the wall by the stairs.

Lonely…. Yeah, that was it - I was lonely. I felt like I was at the end of all things with nowhere else to go from here. Worse still was that even as I sat there, I still couldn't piece it together. Pulling up my knees and bending my elbows on top of them, I folded my hands and pressed them against my forehead, which I noticed I'd seemed to make a habit out of whenever I was exercising my brain too hard.

Despite what Sally had told me, I still found myself thinking of him. Tonight of all nights, how couldn't I? My mind was full of broken images of him: the stormy afternoon I'd first seen him; the way his hands curved slightly when he dribbled the basketball; the slender corona that had traced his silhouette in the doorway of my cell on the OZ Lunar Base.

I remembered seeing him sitting on the observation deck on Peacemillion, clad in his black spacesuit as he stared through the window. The pale light bouncing off of a nearby colony was the only thing illuminating his face, and I remember thinking that I didn't belong in such a beautiful scene. Still wanting to watch him, though, I'd tried to meld back into the shadows, where I felt most comfortable, but he knew I was there anyway.

“Come watch the sun rise with me, Duo,” he'd said, not even turning towards my dark hiding spot when he addressed me.

At the time, I hadn't been sure what he'd meant, but slipped out of the shadows to join him when he asked. I came to stand behind him, silently looking out the window with him; the innocent Earth hung like a blue teardrop amid fields of stars; Heero's face was painted faintly in the glass. Jokingly, I'd asked him if he was really watching the Earth, or if he was just trapped by his own reflection. He'd given me the most peculiar look when I said that, and for a moment, I'd been afraid that I'd struck a nerve or something, so I'd backed off, retreating a few steps.

But he was still looking at me. “No,” he'd said; “Just you.”

I'd gaped at him in wonder, but he'd turned back to the window. It was then that I'd realized I could see my own reflection there, too, dimly hovering just beside his. Again, he spoke, his eyes still trained on the still expanse outside; “Come back here, Duo. I want to walk through dawn with you.” At the very moment he was finishing his sentence, a thin crescent rimmed the edge of the Earth, seconds before a wash of light spilled from behind it.

The memory cut itself off there, and I startled awake to find myself alone on the floor of the house's foyer again. I glanced up at Heero's door again, thinking that if the only way I could see him whenever I wanted to was in dreams, I would stay asleep my whole life. Clambering to my feet, I dazedly started for the stairs, that nostalgic urge overtaking me again; I wanted to lay in his bed and imagine him in my arms, making love to me the way I'd always longed for him to.

The sun had long since gone down, leaving his room dark, but I was still able to navigate my way to the desk. The computer sat there innocuously enough, but just the sight of it brought back memories of last Halloween and what had happened. The red, digital numbers of the alarm clock glowed on the bedside table: 8:46PM.

I couldn't help myself. I had to try again - even if it didn't work, I had to try. I couldn't stand not having him. I had to at least tell him those things that I'd always meant to. The things I never got a chance to. His dog tags burned against my chest underneath my shirt.

“This is Mission Log 001031, commanding officer: Agent Duo Maxwell, ID #98624DH. Field agents, acknowledge, please.”

Even my own voice of three years ago sounded like a long forgotten shadow. Then I'd been full of life, more than ready and excited to help keep the peace we'd fought so hard to attain. A cocky bastard was how Heero used to describe me; nowadays, I'd lost the cocky and kept the bastard - and I can't say it's been the most flattering of personality changes.

“Mission Log 001031: Agent Heero Yuy, ID #32565YM. 1600 hours: no problems.”

I wasted no time. Before Coquin even had a chance to go through his check-in, I'd interrupted, hoping to gods I didn't believe in that Heero would hear me this time. Maybe Heero's Halloween ghost would be more forgiving on the anniversary of his death. “Agent Maxwell to Agent Yuy - watch your ass!” Even though I didn't have the equipment, maybe my willpower would be enough to ensure that I was tapped into only Heero's channel. I decided to check anyway: “Is this line secure?”

There was a new crackle on the audio, which encouraged me that maybe this was the night my luck would change. Then, Heero's voice: “Agent Yuy to Agent Maxwell: secure connection; please clarify.”

My heart was pounding so loudly in my ears, it seemed to be reverberating throughout the entire house. Despite that, I forced myself to keep calm; knowing how Heero was on missions, he wouldn't take me seriously unless I was acting the way a Preventers agent was expected to. “Yuy, I have substantial reason to believe that this entire mission is a trap conceived on false evidence.”

“Come again?” Heero sounded skeptical. Not that I could blame him, anyway.

“Look, I ain't gonna pussyfoot around this: Coquin's aiming to knock off us pilots, starting with you!” I said, growing desperate. I wasn't sure how long the connection would last, and I couldn't afford to waste it. Who knew if I would ever get this chance again?

“Duo - “ My breath hitched at the sound of him using my first name, despite the fact he was in the field and at his professional best. There was always something about the way he rolled the syllables off his tongue that made me feel like he used that tone only for me.

Feeling inexplicably nervous and flushed for the first time in many years - the way he used to make me feel every day - I cut to the chase, hoping I didn't sound too much like a pathetic bleeding-heart. “Just don't forget that you have the authority to arrest him if he tries anything weird, trainee or not.”

“I know the protocol, Duo,” he said softly, reassuringly. “Why are you worried about me?”

Now there was a loaded question if I ever heard one; I couldn't decide if he was asking if I didn't trust in his ability to get the job done… or something more. “Because,” I said, sucking in a slow breath to buy myself some thinking time, “there's only one of you, and it wouldn't do to lose you. Not yet.”

“Acknowledged, Duo.”

There was radio silence after that. Suddenly, the sounds of a scuffle picked up on the track, as well as a soft clattering, which could be distinguished as guns being drawn and safety hammers being pulled back. Goddamned Coquin's stupid voice came next: “Heh, you're cleverer than you look, Agent Yuy; no wonder you were such an elusive thorn to pull out during the war years.”

“One of the first things they teach you in the Preventers training course is not to underestimate anyone. Clearly, you've forgotten that principle rule,” Heero grit out dangerously. I could see the placidly vengeful expression on his face as he held his gun out in front of him. “Fortunately, though, Agent Maxwell did not make that same mistake.”

“Oh, whispering behind my back, were you?” sneered Coquin. “Bet your little friend would be the first to put his ass between you and my gun, wouldn't he? A trade for the nookie, huh?”

This was not an ideal time to offer my commentary, but my cheeks were burning red anyway. The fact that Heero didn't say anything in return to the jibe just left me sodden with curiosity as to what his reaction might have been; Heero was the sort who could be obnoxiously ambiguous.

A gun went off once, twice, and then clattered to the ground as a brawl erupted between the pair. If Coquin's miserable whimpers were any clue, Heero was whipping the shit out of the slimy bastard. Moments later, his voice came on over the com recording. “Yuy to Maxwell: requesting a clean-up team at the scene.”

My head spun, and I had to place both of my palms against the desktop to steady myself. There was a light sheen of icy sweat coating my skin, and I was panting a little. I had succeeded in what I'd set out to do.

Heero had survived the mission.

++++

I don't think I slept very much that night, too overtaken by the weight of what I'd done. This was my big second chance - the one I thought I'd never have! It occurred to me that he hadn't suddenly appeared in the bed with me, sleeping like a tired lamb, but I wasn't much for thinking too hard about details like that. Would he be in the office tomorrow? What would I say to him? Would he accept an invitation out to dinner?

In the morning, I was the one waiting for the alarm to go off. I was out of bed and dashing out of the door in record time, zooming through my morning ritual with warp speed.

Upon arrival, I nearly careened into Quatre, who was on his way from his office to the copy room. “Whoa, Duo!” he called after my retreating form. “Slow up the train! What's with the excitement?”

I turned around long enough to give him a little hop of exuberance before happily bounding towards my office, leaving the poor blonde very disoriented and confused. I unlocked my door and poked my head in long enough to fling my stuff onto one of the chairs by the door before practically skipping next door to Trowa's office. Grasping the handle, I pushed the door without any preamble, knowing that Trowa was used to my unceremonious intrusions. “Hey Tro-Tro, you seen Heero today?”

“Agent Maxwell?”

That most certainly was not Trowa's voice. I felt my glee drain out of my body and puddle on the floor in mere seconds as I slowly looked up, realizing that Trowa was not the one sitting behind the desk. In his usual place was a red haired, female agent I vaguely knew in passing staring at me like I had six heads.

“Agent Maxwell?” she repeated, now sounding rather concerned. “Are you alright? Do you need my help?”

“W-Who are you?” I stuttered, knowing I probably sounded like a complete idiot. “Where is Trowa?”

“Special Agent Hunter. I've been working with you and Agent Winner in the field for almost a year and a half, now,” she said carefully, slowly rising to her feet as if she was trying not to alarm a volatile beast.

“No, no! Trowa is Quatre's partner - Heero is mine! Where are they?” I said, completely panicked. My head was swiveling back and forth like it was on a pivot. This wasn't how it was supposed to be!

Hunter had that odd expression on her face again, like she thought I had become delusional or something. “Agent Maxwell, both Agents Yuy and Barton have been dead for about two years, now. Remember? Killed on a follow-up mission to the Coquin incident?”

“W-What?” That couldn't be. Irony was not that cruel. I'd been… so close… and now I'd not only lost Heero, but Trowa as well. An image of Quatre's confused face from just minutes prior flooded my mind's eye as guilt weighed down my heart. Trowa and Quatre were tight - close, like Heero and I were, only nowhere near as cowardly.

“Sir? Are you sure you're feeling alright?” Hunter pressed, rounding Trowa's - her - desk and taking a few tentative steps in my direction. She held one hand aloft, like she meant to put it on my shoulder, but wasn't sure if it was safe to do so. “Do you want me to get Dr. Poe? Or perhaps Agent Winner or Director Une?”

I waved her off with a bit more irritation than I intended, feeling that rush of lightheadedness coming on again. Her image looked blurred and spun in circles as I steadied myself on the doorframe, shaking my head in an effort to rumble the discomforting feeling from it.

“Agent Maxwell?”

Throat dry and breathing harsh, I looked up at her; she had a hand on the telephone, still looking at me with worry. I tried to protest, tried to tell her it wasn't worth bothering about, but I never got the chance: I collapsed onto the floor mere seconds later.

++++

It was the scent of Sally's flowery perfume that brought me around heaven knew how much later. The florescent lights and the blurred outlines of two or three faces danced around my field of vision before melding into focus. I soon realized I was laying on a bed in the infirmary wing, Sally, Quatre and Agent Hunter all leaning over me with concern. When I sat up, pressing the heel of my hand against my aching forehead, I noticed that Wufei and Lady Une were standing off to the side as well. Sure turned into quite the little party, didn't it?

“Duo, can you hear me?”

That would be Sally playing the doctor. I shrugged and nodded, as if the fact I wasn't lying down anymore wasn't enough of a hint. “Sorry about that, folks. You can all now return to your regularly scheduled work day,” I said trying to make a joke out of what they all seemed to think was a grave situation.

“Duo, are you sure you're alright?” Quatre piped up, his tone somewhere between concerned and very stern. “You were so happy when I saw you this morning….”

I laughed awkwardly. “Well, you know how Halloween can be a rough one for me, right?”

Quatre blinked owlishly at me, like I'd just told him I went door to door dressed as the Sugarplum Fairy. I stared back at him, a similar expression doodled upon my confused face.

Lady Une took over the interrogation from there. She unceremoniously elbowed her way into the little crowd around my bed. “Hunter told me what happened,” she said as the redhead courteously bowed out of the circle of confidants. “Are you sure you're not overworking yourself? It sounded like you were having a vivid flashback.”

I suddenly realized what they all thought was wrong. It became clear to me that I was the only one who remembered these different versions of history I kept writing every year, and obviously the fact that I'd come bounding into work asking for two long-dead agents hadn't been classified as exactly normal, even for me. “Look, Lady,” I started off clumsily, “it's not what you think….”

Sally, however, was shaking her head. “Duo, I think you're stressed and still not quite through blaming yourself for what happened to Yuy and Barton,” she said, sounding like an eerie echo of our past sessions. “Maybe it would be wise for you to take some professional leave. I'm sure it would be best for all parties concerned.”

My eyes were wide as dinner plates as I stared at her, my jaw practically on the floor. “You can't be serious!” I'd never taken a day off in my life, and though it wasn't against policy or anything, Lady Une seemed to detract points from people who did so too frequently. Even though I was more or less being handed a vacation, I still felt like the subtext was that I was a hindrance to the agency.

“Duo, Agents Yuy and Barton are - “

I wasn't about to stand for this; I felt like they were badgering me. “Look, I know, okay? I fucked up! I'm just a big, fat fuck-up! No need to remind me!” I didn't care that they wouldn't really understand what I meant. I was just sick of feeling responsible for the deaths of people I cared about.

Surprisingly, it was Wufei who pacified the situation. From his place against the wall, he spoke, his commanding voice silencing the others in the room. “It's not your fault that Coquin was still bent on having Heero's head. Just like it's not your fault that he happened to strike while you were still in a cast from the last mission.”

“What?” And yet, I once again found myself with memories I never knew I had before: I was suddenly struck with the image of Heero and I scrambling up the ladder of an old fire escape of a building we were infiltrating, recalling how I'd lost my footing on one of the rungs and plummeted four stories to the alleyway below. And I remembered thinking how I'd laughed it off at the time, glad that the fall hadn't killed me. I was beginning to think that wasn't so accurate anymore.

If it was possible, I think I was falling even more in love with Heero than I'd been before. It was like that saying, 'You don't know what you've got until you say goodbye.'

All I knew was, I was not ready to say goodbye to Heero yet. Not now, not ever.

++++

I ended up taking that undetermined length of time off, but more because I was forced by three or four rather influential individuals than because I wanted to. Now that there was no way out, though, I guess I could see the benefits more objectively. Be it for better or for worse, it sure was giving me a lot of time to just… think….

I'd more or less come to the conclusion that my little trick only worked on Halloween, but with that piece of information now in my arsenal, I figured it would do to be prepared for this upcoming year. More than just Heero's life was contingent upon it now. Going into headquarters and seeing Quatre pretending like his life was just dandy was like salt in the wound.

Before I'd taken my official leave, I'd gone rooting through the archives for anything I could use to help me prepare for zero hour next Halloween. Everything from preliminary mission schematics, outlines, follow-up reports, newspaper clippings - the works! - I took it all, ready to use every last scrap of it. Failure was not an option. The passion that often consumed Heero's work was catching fire in me like a burning oil spill; I'd never been so dedicated to a cause in my life, even back during the war, when causes actually meant a thing or two.

I was getting Heero and Trowa back. Even if it was the last thing I did, by God, I'd get them back.

++++

According to what I'd been able to glean from my various sources, Trowa had been sent as backup for Heero on a mission that they both already knew was of Coquin's own devising. The bastard had aimed to trap them; it seemed he was successful in that aim. There had to have been some sort of X factor no one on the Preventers team had been able to anticipate, something that had allowed Coquin to off not one, but two highly trained agents who were more than aware of his scheme.

Not that it mattered; my goal was to make sure there was no getting away for Coquin this round. It took many a night sprawled out on the floor with my careful plans, but this year, I was ready. My diligent, almost obsessive work was going to pay off in spades. I had already decided.

While the computer booted up, I spread out my notes on the desk next to it, every little detail of what I wanted to say and when worked out perfectly on the paper. I'd listened to that goddamned audio file so many times in the past year, I practically knew it by heart. I'd even managed to scrounge up a map of the warehouse Heero'd been at when it happened, making marks and plotting out potential escape routes to help him in any way I could.

I didn't even give my recorded self time to officially start the mission before I had interrupted the transmission. “Yuy,” I said, doing my best not to sound frantic or worried, “I've got an emergency situation. The mission has serious potential of becoming a risk.”

A smirk came to my face at his shocked reaction. I could see his expression as he sputtered briefly in confusion. But he was quick to regain his usual cool; “What do you mean, Maxwell? Did you confirm that there is something going on here?”

“I most certainly did!” I exclaimed, my words eating up the tail end of his last sentence. “Heero, we've been had: Coquin's gonna try to do you in.”

Radio silence ensued, the sputtering of the static-transmission the only noise between us for about two beats. Then there was a crackle, and Heero asked, “How did you learn about this, Duo?” His voice was soft, but not condescending or angry. I felt a light fluttering between my ribs.

“I don't - uh….” I faltered, unsure of how to explain this to him without giving away the true nature of the situation. I wasn't about to lie to him; he was the last person I could ever lie to, even after myself. “Coquin's given me cause to be wary of his actions,” I eventually settled on. “Don't ask how I know; it's just this… feeling I have.”

“A feeling?” Heero pressed. “You're basing this on a feeling?”

“Don't misjudge the legitimacy of a feeling, Heero!” I snapped, feeling impassioned. This was proving to be harder than I thought. Already, I felt like I was just dancing the same circle I'd rounded last year.

His voice was still soft and calm - his usual way of speaking, like it was just an everyday conversation on the sofa. “You know I never would.”

He said nothing more after that, and I was stuck listening to his breathing and footfalls beneath the fuzzy recording. It would have been pointless to press him further; he wouldn't have continued the conversation and I would have just turned into a distraction. And the last thing Heero needed right then was a distraction.

Gradually, Heero's footsteps stilled. I held my breath.

The radio crackled. A safety hammer clicked back, and Heero whispered, “Lower your weapon, Charles.”

“I don't think so, Yuy!” came Coquin's indignant yelp. “A rebel terrorist like you, worshiped like you're a hero - it's criminal!”

“And what does shooting me prove?” Heero asked, still just as calm as ever.

“Everything!” Coquin yelled.

“And nothing,” Heero countered quietly.

The sound of wind rushing over Heero's communication device as he suddenly whipped around blasted over the speakers. There was a groan, a thud and a clatter, obviously knocking Coquin's gun out of his hand. A similar noise was heard as Heero pulled out his own weapon and drew back the safety. I imagined he was aiming it at the little shit. I hoped he unloaded into his skull.

“You really are a cold-blooded terrorist!” Coquin shouted, trying hard to sound tougher than he was. “Only a terrorist like you would shoot an unarmed man!”

“Pick it up, then,” said Heero. I felt my heart plummet to somewhere in my intestinal region; my skin turned to ice. “Pick it up, and we'll settle this like men.”

I wanted to shout at Heero that he was being a dumbass, that he should just suck up his goddamned, foolish pride and request some extra Preventer backup, but I found the words sticking in my dry throat. He wouldn't have listened, and I would have sounded like a hypocrite, anyway.

Great. Just great. Now Heero's life was a game of chance - a game of the fastest trigger finger. I supposed his odds were better, but for the record, a fucking Mexican standoff didn't help ease the unrest in my stomach a single bit.

I don't know how long there was silence, just the two of them pointing their weapons at each other. In the tense, surrounding silence, I couldn't hear my own breathing, but Heero's seemed to fill the entire room. Briefly, I wondered what my past counterpart was doing on his end of things.

Then, all at once, there was an explosion of gunfire. A shot fired from each gun rocketed in my ears, reverberating over and over like a scored record. My lips formed the shape of Heero's name, but all that came out was a strangled whimper. More silence.

After about thirty seconds of that doomed quiet - thirty seconds of not knowing! - I managed to breathe his name, hardly above a whisper. His breaths were even louder now, much more like fighting gasps. “Mission - ugh….” He didn't sound all that good, but at least he was alive. “He's dead, Duo.”

I leapt out of my seat, sending the wooden chair tumbling to the floor behind me, though I hardly noticed I'd knocked it over. I held myself over the computer, glaring down at the jittering frequency line on the screen. “Heero - status! Now!” I demanded.

“Dead…” was all he could say.

“Heero, quit fucking with me!” I yelled, smacking the desktop in frustration. “Give me your status now!”

But all Heero seemed to be capable of was a barely coherent mumble. “He won't come after you or the others. You can… live….”

“HEERO!” I kept shouting his name again and again.

Even though I knew he couldn't hear me anymore.

++++

<< Last

TBC!!