Title: The Moon of a Moonless Night
Author: Link Worshiper
Pairing: 1=2
Stuff: sap, fluff and feel-good
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing’s not mine, but it might as well be. Inspired by the RHCP, various show tunes, and one of the three Coldplay songs I actually like. Concluding lyrics go to Ella Fitzgerald (though I think a lot of people have sung them).

a/n: Get this, I’m trying for something short and kind of drably. Yeah, I know. Happy birthday, Natea! Sorry this one came a bit late, but I was groping for a decent idea.

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“Duo, what’s this?” Heero asked, shuddering a bit as the chill breeze toyed with his thick bangs.

Duo sounded innocent when he replied. “What’s what?” His hands were on Heero’s upper arms, propelling him forward and then physically pushing him down onto the wooden bench that sat at the edge of the porch. He settled beside Heero on the bench, leaning back against the railing behind it.

“This cold,” Heero said succinctly. “If you would have told me we were going outside, I’d have put on my jacket.”

“Oh, quit whining. You know that being by the water automatically makes for a bit of wind.” Duo waved off Heero’s complaint and instead focused on the beautiful nightscape that framed his companion’s profile. The peaceful surroundings were a big part of the reason they’d decided to relocate to this secluded little cottage after the wars. After surviving two years packed full of enough excitement to last multiple lifetimes, both of them were ready for a bit of space.

“A little warning would have still been nice. I hate being unprepared,” Heero mumbled, trying to be discreet as he folded his arms against his stomach for a bit of extra warmth. He was wearing only a thin tee shirt and a pair of jeans.

“Aw, lighten up, Heero,” Duo chided, sliding his weight more onto the arm nearest Heero, all the while hoping that Heero wouldn’t sense how much closer he’d gotten. “It’s a nice night. Just enjoy the stars.”

Heero turned towards Duo, and Duo jerked quickly away so they wouldn’t bump noses. “You know I can’t,” he said softly, the moonlight glinting softly in his pale, glassy eyes ­ mere ghosts of the intense blue irises that had once sparkled beneath his thick lashes.

A sigh escaped Duo’s lips as he leaned back against the railing, staring up between the foliage that hung over the small, uncovered porch. With no urban lights to blind the heavens, it was almost like being a pilot again. Rolling his head in Heero’s direction again, he studied the bottom of the young Japanese man’s chin and the way the light highlighted his youthful features. Heero made for a strange paradox ­ an innocent with the burdens of an aged veteran. Sometimes Duo thought that was why Heero was always so restless, stretched between so many different realities he couldn’t ever hope to tack himself down to one. The past few quiet years they’d spent out in this secluded cottage had probably been a great chance for Heero to mull over a lot of things, Duo decided.

“Duo?” Heero’s voice sounded almost fearful. “Are you still there?” His hand slid across the bench, groping frantically for a sign that Duo hadn’t gotten up, calming significantly when his fingertips brushed up against Duo’s thigh. He let out a heavy breath; he knew that Duo had a talent for being extremely still and quiet, but it unnerved him when it seemed like Duo had suddenly vanished from his side.

Immediately, Duo straightened up, quickly reaching down to pat the top of Heero’s hand. “I’m always here, Heero,” he assured him. “You know that.” Keeping his palm flat against the back of Heero’s hand, he turned his attention back up to the sky. “Boy, the colonies sure are bright tonight. They almost look like little star nebulas.”

“What kind of nebulas?” Heero asked, his fingers tightening on Duo’s thigh. He liked the physical assurance that Duo was still by his side. He supposed it wasn’t any different from the way it had been back during the wars: Duo had always been good at staying hidden, but Heero had always known he was there.

“Aw, man, it’s been years since I even thought about space like that ­ all technical and shit, that is,” Duo said, briefly pressing the heel of his other hand against the side of his face and sliding his fingers into his thick, sienna hair. After thinking about it for a few seconds, he figured it probably didn’t really even matter. “Well, kind of like those golden, cloudy ones ­ tossed with a bit of this pinkish red tint. You can’t really see too much detail down here, but I’m sure if you were up there, it’d be stellar. The moon’s got nothing on those babies tonight, let me tell you, man.”

And it was true: the moon’s yellowish glow paled next to the sparkling colony clusters, dotting the sky around it like hovering faeries. The belt of galactic cloud that was spilled across the inky sky glistened like it was crusted with thousands of tiny diamonds and iced the surface of the lake its milky tint. Once and a while, a small meteorite would cut across the scene, and Duo would tense with excitement, squeezing Heero’s hand tighter. Heero turned his chin skyward also, even though what he saw didn’t change, and asked for Duo to describe it all to him.

Duo was happy to oblige, and as he started speaking, Heero leaned back against the railing also, startled when he felt his back press up against Duo’s arm, which was stretched out across the top of it again. He hoped Duo was too busy talking to notice the private smile that tweaked his lips as he settled the back of his neck against Duo’s forearm. Ever since Zero had gone up in a brilliant flash all around him, ending the fighting for good, he felt he’d only become more vulnerable than ever before. Wasted in the first place, he thought, his little smile quickly becoming a little heavy at the corners. Disasters are just another star falling in my yard.

Feeling how still Heero had become, Duo chanced a quick peek over in Heero’s direction and panicked a bit when he saw the blank way Heero was staring up at the sky. “Hey, hey, Heero, don’t lose me here,” Duo said, unable to mask the worry in his voice as he shook Heero’s hand. There had been two frightening instances in the past couple of years where Heero had completely relapsed into his young soldier’s frame of mind, and both times had been some of the most traumatic things Duo could ever recall experiencing. He prayed daily that the same wouldn’t happen to him; he didn’t want to even think of Heero trying to manage such an ordeal. “Come on, buddy,” he said a little more firmly, his blunt fingernails digging into Heero’s skin as he stared down into Heero’s unblinking eyes. “Tell me what you’re thinking about. Talk to me.”

Heero quickly snapped out of it; he hadn’t realized he’d started to zone out. Breathing heavily, he took a moment to enjoy the warm puff of air that clouded over his lips as he did so. “Is it really like that? Is the sky really that beautiful? It sounds nicer than I remember it being.”

Duo furrowed his eyebrow as he continued to regard Heero’s face, particularly distracted by the movement of his lips when he spoke. “Of course it is,” he said slowly. “It’s beautiful because you made it that way, Heero. The colonies are shining for you and all the things you’ve done for them. The colours shine for you ­ like if they’re bright enough, you’ll maybe be able to see them again one day.”

Heero felt the smile returning to his lips again, letting out a small chuckle and thinking about the reasons he liked to be around Duo. “That sounds like you stole it from an old song,” he said, readjusting his position against Duo’s arm.

Duo let out a wild bark of laughter that shivered down Heero’s spine like he’d been laughing too. “It’s tru~ue,” Duo sang, his voice a pleasing baritone. “The colours shine for yo~ou… and all the things that you do.” Duo glanced at Heero again and wondered if Heero was aware of how much Duo, himself, loved the things Heero did. He leaned down and whispered, “Can you see them yet?”

“Duo, I ­“

“Shh, no. Just tell me if you can see them,” Duo silenced him, briefly laying a finger on Heero’s protesting lips. “Take a look at the stars in your head ­. I know you’d never forget what they look like.” Duo sunk a bit lower on the bench so his head was level with Heero’s against the railing. “Sometimes I wish I could see what you see all the time now ­ to always see fields of space, to always be flying, even when you’re earthbound.”

Heero huffed, feeling a bit frustrated. He didn’t want his eternal darkness to be the only reason Duo stayed, and he sometimes couldn’t help but feel forgotten when he got the impression that Duo was just as blind as he was. Part of him just wanted to be frank about the issue, but most of him was afraid to chase away the only thing in his life he was ever sure of. “Duo,” he said, his voice a bit tight, “both of us know ­“

“Heero, quit skirting the question,” Duo said a bit more firmly. He rolled his head in Heero’s direction, tracing Heero’s chiseled profile with his gaze, while the Japanese youth’s eyes were still turned heavenward. “The whole solar system fits in your eye,” Duo said, shifting again so he was leaning over Heero’s face. He could see his face dimly outlined in his glassy irises. “I can see it reflected there ­ you know, kind of like a microcosm.”

Heero, for his part, was too concerned with the feel of Duo’s chest pressed against his side to really pay much attention what exactly the American was saying. He could imagine the close way they were curled against each other on the bench, and it made his heart palpitate a bit faster. Slowly, he reached up with his free hand and carefully guided it through the air until his fingertips found Duo’s face hovering above his. As they roamed around Duo’s round cheek, across one fluttering eyelid and down the curving bridge of his nose, a lightly tanned colour started to fill the blackness, followed soon after by a rosy pink and a rich sienna as they continued across Duo’s wide lips and up through his wispy fringe.

Duo felt his breath hitch as he asked once more. “See them now?”

“Yes,” Heero said, sounding much more definitive than before. He couldn’t remember a time he’d ever seen colours so vivid.

Duo lifted his arm from the railing, bringing Heero’s face closer to his. He whispered softly into Heero’s ear, his breath tickling the long, messy bangs that fell around it, “Which one’s your favourite?”

A tingling sensation was overpowering Heero’s stomach, and all he could sense was the feel and smell of Duo. Even the brisk wind he’d been complaining about earlier was no longer a problem for him. He didn’t even have to think very long about his answer, finding his lips were moving before he realized it. “That bright, intense purplish-blue,” he murmured. “That same blue as your eyes.”

Duo froze, suddenly unsure of what to say. He hadn’t expected Heero to turn the tables like this. But not about to leave Heero flailing, Duo kept at it; he wouldn’t back down ­ not when they were both floating like this. “And why is that?”

Heero knew the answer to that almost immediately. “It’s the colour of my universe,” he whispered back.

“Heero….” Duo repositioned himself yet again so he could hold Heero’s face in his hand and stare into his eyes, which, for all their blank emptiness, were still the most passionate eyes he’d ever seen, full of sincerity and love.

“And don’t think,” Heero went on, now a little unsure because of Duo’s subdued response ­ or lack thereof, “that it’s something I decided only now… or even just because of the couple years we’ve spent by ourselves out here. It was a long time ago, really ­ back when we were fifteen, maybe. With so little to be sure of in the world, you’re one of the only things I never had to wonder about. Because the more I memorized your face, the more I knew I never wanted to leave.” Heero leaned his cheek against Duo’s palm, carefully feeling his way up Duo’s neck so he could mirror the position, his lips curved into a tiny smile. “Nothing’s really changed. All I could ever see was you.”

Duo stared at Heero, lost for words. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but Heero’s smile had completely thrown him. He’d seen the expression adorn Heero’s face before, but he’d never thought that he was the cause for it. He never thought anyone would express such love to him. “Heero,” he stammered, realizing that he’d probably repeated his name at least a hundred times in the past few minutes. “Why the hell would you choose someone like me?”

Any inhibitions Heero had once had about telling Duo what he felt were now completely forgotten, and the words just came without even the slightest pause. “Because everything I am, I owe to you,” he said. He took both his hands and placed his palms over Duo’s cheeks, cupping the shape of his face as his fingertips gently brushed Duo’s closed eyelids. “It’s raining in my heart, Duo. I’ll stand in my raincoat on a sunny day until you open your eyes and see it.”

At the moment, though, all Duo was able to do was feel. Heero’s feathery touch on his skin seemed so delicate, yet it seemed to sink deep into his skin, right to his very core. “Heero,” he mumbled again, hardly able to control the words his lips were shaping. “I’m such a terrible person to love ­ hardly a romance.”

But Heero would have none of it. “I don’t even care,” he replied, his hands slipping down Duo’s face and beneath his chin, tracing the contours of Duo’s neck. “Not a day goes by when you’re not a part of my life, even when you’re not nearby. I can’t even begin to imagine my life without you.” A tiny smirk rode his lips as his hands slid further down, lingering on the planes of Duo’s hard chest. “I don’t care if I never see the stars again, Duo. I’m only flying when I see you ­ when I’m with you.”

Duo wanted to know why Heero’s right hand wasn’t bouncing with the beat of his heart, which was hammering madly against the inside of his ribcage. Heero was right: the only thing he was sure of was the two of them together in that moment. He knew it was marvelous to know Heero ­ that he’d never have someone in his life that meant as much to him as the blue-eyed, Japanese youth that was standing with him. He could remember Heero in all their old familiar places, all the memories they had with one another. A smile shook his entire frame as he laid his hands on top of Heero’s, almost as if he wanted to press them as close to his soul as he could. Knowing Heero had made him the man he was today, and he was better for it.

“Crazy business this life thing is, huh?” Duo said at last, feeling like he could finally string together a coherent sentence. “It seems all that we’ve been through was so long ago, and then, like it all goes by so fast. But,” he paused, smiling his best smile and lifting one of Heero’s hands to his lips so he could feel it. “None of it was a waste ­ it brought me you. Can’t complain about the time we’re given ‘cause all that matters is this.”

Heero felt his own lips lift at the corners as he brought his other hand to Duo’s face, each of his fingertips exploring the gentle smile spread out there. He loved the way Duo’s cheeks became rounder when he was happy, and the creases around the corners of his mouth ­ the dampness of his lips. “Yes,” he whispered softly. “Very crazy.” He held Duo’s face still and leaned close, using his fingers to help him find Duo’s lips. “Thank you for everything,“ he added softly, just as he was close enough to press his mouth against Duo’s. “For everything that’s here, and now, and us.”

Duo’s lips trembled beneath Heero’s, but he found his eyes drooping closed. He could feel the warmth of Heero’s body and he could hear his every breath, as their passionate exchange grew deeper. It didn’t even matter if the stars were raining down from the sky; he didn’t have to see them as long as he could feel Heero beside him.

When they parted, Duo found himself unable to tear his eyes away from Heero’s, stroking his cheek with the back of his thumb. It was strange: he could see his face mirrored in Heero’s glazed irises, and yet he still felt like Heero could see through his skin, right down to the very beating essence of his heart. He realized he wanted to be the one to hold Heero’s hand, to be his eyes in a world he couldn’t see. And yet, he still knew that Heero was his guide, the one who would lead him through the darkest of places when he didn’t know the way. Heero could see things he’d never see: everything in nothingness.

The stars glimmered in Heero’s pale irises, and Duo’s smile broadened. It really was amazing how the whole universe could fit in his eye. I guess even the most magnificent of things can be found in even the smallest of places, he thought, awestruck by the beauty that glimmered there. His breath caught in his throat, garbling his sudden admission of ‘I love you’.

“Duo?” Heero felt for Duo’s face again, not quite sure he believed what he’d just heard. “Say that again?” he begged softly, wanting to know desperately he wasn’t completely mad. Nervous quivers overtook Heero’s body at the pause that lingered just before Duo’s lips ­ lips that never lied ­ slowly shaped the words again.

Duo couldn’t believe what had just slipped from the deep confines of his heart, but he felt like he was soaring as the words left his mouth. They seemed to melt on Heero’s fingertips, sinking deep inside him ­ to become a part of him! It was one of the most strangely intimate things he’d ever done in his short life, but he knew that he wouldn’t have wanted to share such a moment with anyone other than Heero Yuy. Heero didn’t even have to say anything in response; Duo already knew.

“I love you,” he whispered again ­ an affirmation for both of them ­ as his other hand slipped down Heero’s arm, twining itself around the Japanese man’s fingers to let him know he was still there. And not just for now ­ not just a day or a year or one point in time ­ but always.

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My romance doesn’t have to have a moon in the sky.
My romance doesn’t need a blue lagoon standing by.
No month of May, no shining stars,
No hideaway, no soft guitars.

My romance doesn’t need a castle rising in Spain,
Nor a dance to a constantly surprising refrain.
Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true.


My romance doesn’t need a thing but you.

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End

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