[catholic schoolboys rule!]

Title: Catholic Schoolboys Rule!
Author: Link Worshiper
Pairings: 1=2, 3=4, mentions of others
Stuff: AU, pokes at religious institution, fluff/sap, angst, lemon topping and a bit of drag XD
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, Bandai and a lot of other people who aren't me. +5 skill points if you guess the title reference.

Filling a request for Rainya, because she feeds my geek needs. Thanks to Natea for the once-over.

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XII.

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"Trowa? You here?" Quatre whispered, rapping his knuckles lightly on the door of the rower's dorm room. Moonlight was the only thing that illuminated the night-soaked corridor, the dark shadows cloaking Quatre's midnight presence outside Trowa's room. All the students on the floor were either out partying or shut away in their rooms, sleeping or studying; no one knew that Quatre visited Trowa just as frequently during quiet hours as he did during the day.

Quatre tested the door handle, knowing that Trowa was something of an insomniac and that it would be unlocked if he was around. He wasn't surprised when the door gave way, but was a bit perplexed by the scarce illumination within the room. Keeping only the table gas lamp on was hardly conducive to getting anything done at this time of night. "Trowa?" he called again, his voice wavering with uncertainty.

The deserted state of Trowa's half of the room clearly denoted that the tall boy's absence and that he was probably spending the night down at the boathouse again. He'd been doing that a lot lately, Quatre had noticed, and he worried a little bit that he had a lot to do with it. He understood Trowa's fear that the wrong person would catch wind of their midnight rendezvousing, but part of him was a little wounded by all the secretive gallivanting, like Trowa was actually ashamed by what they were coming to share. Quatre tried not to take it too personally, knowing the situation dictated their current circumstances, but the sting was sometimes hard to ignore regardless.

A soft snort from behind Quatre alerted him to the fact that he wasn't as alone as he'd imagined. Turning in the direction the noise had emanated from, Quatre found himself facing Duo's poster-slathered half of the room. In the pale light, he could make out the contours of an indistinguishable lump near the footboard of the bed, which he assumed was Duo twisted in some unorthodox sleeping position. A disquieted grunt issued from the vicinity again. There was a twitch of foot, a rearranging of arms - two, three... Three? Quatre did a double take, slowly padding towards Duo's bed, his hands raised like he meant to pounce on an unknown intruder. What he found made him suck in a sharp gasp.

They lay like kittens, huddled around each other in a tangle of limbs and blankets. Duo's arms were twined around Heero's torso, his face cushioned against the wreck of soft hair that tumbled over the other boy's cheek. One of Heero's feet, which was half shrouded by the ankles of his flannel pants, protruded off the edge of the mattress, but he didn't seem to be discomforted by it. In fact, Quatre wasn't sure he'd ever seen Heero so at ease, even when he was sleeping in his own bed in the dorm they shared. "I guess he was just a little lonely," Quatre mused as he reached for a discarded sheet that was crumpled on the floor. He cracked it open and then flung it over the slumbering pair, allowing the fabric to balloon with air as it drifted down over their bodies. "Both of them, really," came a mumbled addition as he watched Duo resettle beneath the blanket, tightening his arms around Heero like he meant to hold him even closer.

With a resigned sigh, he turned away from them and went to turn off the lamp before leaving to continue his search for Trowa. With a tiny smile, he whispered to the room, just as he was closing the door behind him, "That's the best apology you could have ever offered me, Heero." Then the door clicked softly, leaving the sleeping boys to their secret cave of shadows and moonlight.

It was unlikely that anyone would catch Quatre sneaking down to the boathouse at this hour, but he also wasn't about to become careless. He even took the long way around the dormitory to the river because the door on the main entrance creaked and was illuminated far more prominently. Even as it was, he though the gravel crunched too loudly beneath his slippers and the chattering of his teeth in the brisk night air was ear-splittingly audible. He tried not to think about it, though, and instead focused on other things, like trying to decide if he ought to bring up how he'd found Heero and Duo to Trowa when he saw him. He supposed Trowa had a right to know what was going on with his good friend and roommate, but at the same time, he was unsure if it was something that should be kept under wraps for the time being or not.

"I guess I'll worry about crossing that bridge when I get there," Quatre mused to himself as the waterside breeze slapped his cheeks. The dock made a threatening creaking noise under his feet when he stepped onto it, but the school buildings were so far away, it didn't concern him so much anymore.

The camping lantern Trowa usually set out in the middle of the floor when he was at the boathouse late radiated a soft-edged bubble of yellowish light around it with a quiet, electric buzz. The light danced merrily across the gleaming surface of the lofted boats that rose up on either side of it, but Quatre hardly noticed, instead scanning the area for Trowa, who seemed to have an uncanny talent for burrowing into the oddest hiding places.

Trowa's voice betrayed his location before Quatre's eyes did. "I didn't think you'd come down," he called from the vicinity to Quatre's right. "Stormy weather on the rise and you have to sing with the choir in the morning."

"So do you," Quatre couldn't help but chuckle a little as he started walking in the direction Trowa's voice had hailed from. The camping lantern twisted a shadow that waxed and waned around Quatre's feet as he passed, heading towards a big, old rowboat that sat abandoned in the far corner with a coil of fat rope and unused oars. Sure enough, when Quatre leaned his elbows onto the edge of the boat and peered down inside, there lay Trowa, stretched out across the keel with his arms folded behind his head like he'd been born to live there. Quatre grinned triumphantly, "I'll have you know you're not the only one made of nails around here, big shot."

"Oh yeah?" Trowa arched his eyebrows to match Quatre's expression as he sat up. "Doesn't feel so sharp to me," he said, his eyes never leaving Quatre's as he reached out to wrap a spidery hand around Quatre's wrist. Squeezing it experimentally, he found it still thinly padded with a cushion of baby fat, but it was the root of a strong, broad hand.

"I'm only spiky when I have to be," Quatre countered with a somewhat shaky grin. The sleepy droop of Trowa's eyes was oddly more distracting than usual. Maybe it was the way the low wattage glow from the camping lantern was glimmering so softly in his dark green irises, like smoldering embers. It made Quatre's pulse quicken.

One corner of Trowa's mouth tweaked itself upwards. "Like a puffer fish?" he teased reeling Quatre closer so that their noses were just short of touching. "I like fish...." He trailed off, tilting his head slightly so he could sneak his lips across Quatre's. He surprised the blonde at first, but the initial reaction quickly melted away into something more receptive.

When they parted, Quatre was leaning heavily on the side of the rowboat, just short of tumbling into it with Trowa. Steadying himself, he met Trowa's eyes again and pointed out, "Aren't puffer fish poisonous to eat?"

"Yeah, for the most part," Trowa shrugged, his catlike grin quickly revisiting his face. "But I like to live a little risky."

"I'm not sure I appreciate being thought of as something so dangerous," Quatre said with a note of humour as he clambered into the boat to sit with Trowa. Hanging onto the side as he had been was just short of being like some castaway in the middle of the sea.

"Whatever," Trowa said, sitting up and repositioning himself so he was facing Quatre, who had settled down near the bow of the tiny boat. "It just means people should think twice before messing with you."

"Oh yeah?" Quatre pressed skeptically. "Like who."

"Well, like Heero Yuy, for instance" Trowa began, idly stretching his arms over his head as he made himself comfortable near the stern, his long legs extending beneath the bench in the middle of the boat and tangling with Quatre's also outstretched ones.

"Heero?" Quatre blinked at Trowa, whose expression had become strangely unreadable, despite its lackadaisical features. He shifted a bit uncomfortably, noticing the way the embers in Trowa's eyes had started to burn a bit more darkly. Was that in regards to Heero or was Trowa thinking about something else?

"Yeah, Heero," Trowa went on. "You know, like how you ripping into him about Duo. I bet he wasn't expecting to be backhanded so hard. Bet he's not used to it, didn't think someone like you was capable of it...."

Quatre frowned and crossed his arms, shifting a bit uncomfortably. "Are you saying that Heero is judging me?"

Trowa merely shrugged noncommittally. "I'm just saying he wasn't expecting for you to give it to him straight."

"Ironic word choice," Quatre said wryly.

"Quite." Trowa folded his arms behind his head and leaned back against the boat's stern, closing his eyes to just enjoy the comfortable silence for a few moments. But when the weight of Quatre's words actually sunk in, his eyes quickly flipped back open and he bolted upright again. "Wait, what?"

Realizing that he'd come to that bridge regarding Heero and Duo, Quatre steeled himself and kept at his current pace. "Well, you know when Heero and I fought, it was because of Duo, right?" Quatre started, hoping he could explain it properly. "Because Heero likes Duo and Duo really likes Heero, you know?"

Meekly, Trowa nodded, though he had a vague feeling he was going to get lost very soon.

"Even if it was something Heero wasn't ready to hear, he had to get an earful of it sooner or later," Quatre continued with a bit more confidence. "I mean, it was just getting painful to watch, seeing them hurt each other so bad when that was hardly what either one wanted."

"Huh," Trowa grunted thoughtfully, curling a hand beneath his chin. "I never got that. I didn't think Heero could care enough to give anyone the time of day. I mean, look at the way he deals with Relena Darlian."

"Yeah, see, that's the thing," Quatre said, waving his hands with a charge of excitement. "For Heero, there seems to be Duo, and then everybody else. Relena is part of 'everybody else'."

Trowa had yet to be completely convinced. "What is it about Duo, then?"

"Do I look like Heero to you? If you want to know, ask him!" Quatre shot back with a bit more gusto than even he, himself, expected. Schooling his expression again he folded his hands in his lap and started to idly twiddle his thumbs. "I mean, I really have no idea. I just think it's really obvious he sees something in Duo he doesn't see in anyone else and it's caught his eye - whether he realizes it or not."

"Well, at any rate, it should be more obvious now that they've both stopped being stupid," Quatre announced, trapping one thumb beneath the other. "Or, at least, so it would seem."

"What's that mean?" Trowa wanted to know. He was intrigued, certainly, but as far as he was concerned at the moment, it was all hearsay, even if it was coming from Quatre, who he didn't believe to say something for mere shock value.

"You really want to know?" Quatre asked, pulling his hands apart and readjusting himself again so he was sitting on his knees. He inched towards the center of the boat and leaned on the bench in the middle, leaning across it to look directly into Trowa's eyes. "Promise not to tell?"

"Sure," said Trowa, though he had to admit he was paying a bit more attention to the fact that Quatre was straddling his knees than anything else at the moment.

Quatre beckoned Trowa closer with a curled index finger, and Trowa moved so that he could hold his ear closer to Quatre's lips as he conspiratorially informed Trowa about the scene he'd stumbled upon in the dorm room before coming down to the boathouse. Though whatever reaction Quatre had been expecting, it certainly hadn't involved Trowa suddenly startling in surprise and jerking one knee directly into Quatre's crotch.

"Omyshitfuck," Quatre wheezed in shock at the unexpected pressure, any further comment on Heero and Duo temporarily forgotten. He fell back on his ass, accidentally landing on Trowa's shins, which caused the other teen to startle, though not at the price of the added pain.

Trowa was quick to react, though, apologizing over and over for the mistake as they both clambered about into less awkward positions. "Did I really hurt you?" Trowa worried as Quatre tried to find the most comfortable way to sit.

"Nah," Quatre said with a weak grin. "It was just the initial surprise of it all, really." Trowa arched his eyebrows skeptically at the blonde, who quickly added with a note of defensiveness, "I promise!"

Trowa didn't look particularly convinced, but decided not to dwell on the matter. "Well, just so long as you know you can always be straightforward with me," he said, slowly leaning back again. "If there's ever anything that I do that you want to say something about, don't hesitate, okay?" He cocked his head, trying to make eye contact with Quatre, but was confused when he was met only with the top of Quatre's flaxen head. "Okay?" he pressed gently, his back becoming rigid again.

Quatre had become still, like a shadow had overtaken his sprits. He slowly lifted his chin, but was still looking away from Trowa, even as he mumbled, "Don't say things like that."

To say that Trowa was confused by the sudden flip in Quatre's demeanor would have been quite the understatement. Trowa felt as if Quatre had suddenly retreated behind a curtain that now hung between them - a heavy, dusty thing that was hard to push aside. "Like what?" Trowa blurted desperately, unsure why he was reaching out so desperately for Quatre. Had he stumbled into this situation with someone like Duo, Trowa would have probably just shrugged it off and continued on his way like he'd hardly even tripped over the bump. But here, he felt like he'd fallen flat on his face and was hardly able to stand up again without Quatre's help.

Quatre shook his head, unsure quite how to phrase what had sunk into his heart. "Just... things that make it sound like you'll be around forever," he explained lamely.

Trowa's face became creased with a perplexed expression again. "But almost nothing is forever, Quatre," Trowa pointed out, his voice sounding a little uncertain. "Trying to cling desperately to something only suffocates it."

The lingering weight between them flickered as Quatre's eyes darted up to meet Trowa's. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do in a few months, when my stay on Earth is over," Quatre admitted in a burst of passion. "I have this fear that returning to L4 will kill me." His shoulders quaked and his hands clawed themselves into fists.

Trowa tentatively reached out to touch Quatre, hoping to comfort him a little, but he recoiled as he was overcome with the concern that he'd only make it worse. "Well," he said genially, electing to lean back in a more casual position, "I'm always here if you need me, just so you know." He dared not try and catch Quatre's gaze, but he hoped that his words rang honestly, at least.

There was an awkward pause between the two of them, which Trowa tried to dispel by slowly cracking his knuckles one by one. With his eyes averted towards the dark rafters, he didn't notice the way Quatre was watching him do so. "I mean, maybe I could go up to L4," Trowa went on musing thoughtfully. "My parents still sometimes do inter-colony travel...."

He was hardly given time to finish piecing together his thoughts, because before he knew it, a pair of arms had flung themselves around his neck, the heavy weight of a body settled up against him. He could feel Quatre's soft hair tickling his jaw and his breath on his neck. "It's not the same," Quatre was repeating, his voice muffled against Trowa. "It'll never be the same after I go, and I - I don't want it to change." Quatre pried himself away so he could look into Trowa's eyes, reaching out to turn the rower's chin towards him so he could. "I like it how it is now - how we're like this."

Trowa felt disarmed, still at a loss for what to say. Assuring Quatre of things he was uncertain of himself didn't seem like the right way to approach the situation, but the desperation in Quatre's eyes was still prickling. Instead, he chose to send Quatre a tiny smile. It seemed to do the trick. Deep inside, he knew it had to do with the way Quatre made him feel.

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Even before he opened his eyes the next morning, Heero registered something was out of place just by the sound of the sheeting rain against the windowpane. There was a lingering coolness in the air, like the water was lashing against a window that was much closer than he recalled, but was also aware that his body was strangely warm despite that and wondered why. When his eyelids finally fluttered open, despite his bleary vision, he found himself blinking up at an unfamiliar ceiling that bore a water stain he didn't recognize at all. However, it didn't become clear to him where was until he heard a tiny moan that didn't issue from his own throat fill the air as the mattress springs bent and creaked beneath his still body. Then, with a jolt, he remembered all the things that had transpired between him and Duo the previous night.

Duo, who was still asleep, was still coiled around him like an extra appendage. They were lying crookedly across the mattress, their heads pillowed in a giant mound of blankets somewhere along the wall. A sheet was tucked around them in a way that made Heero wonder if Trowa had perhaps swooped in for a late night visit before popping back out again. If that had been the case, Heero was surprised he had slept through it, as he was accustomed to startling awake at the slightest disturbance. Considering that, his rest had been unnaturally sound.

Heero had no idea what to do. A part of him had kind of hoped that Duo's inklings of friendship had been real, but now that he'd been presented with the raw truth of it, he was just confused. More perplexing still was that he had more trouble figuring out where he stood with his own feelings as opposed to Duo's. The fact that he even cared enough to think about it was enough to call the matter to attention. It was like Duo was the only one who could help him after being completely knocked off his feet.

The constant shhhh-shhhh of the rain needling the ground with its constant barrage of water droplets filled Heero's ears, just hardly covering the crescendo of Duo's gentle snores, which fell warmly upon Heero's cheek. Duo's arms around Heero's body were like a protective shroud, his smell spicy and thick in Heero's nostrils. With a sharp exhale, Heero blinked dumbly at nothing and wondered how the thud of his heart and the churning of his stomach hadn't woken Duo yet. He breathed in deeply and trapped the air in his lungs again. The water spot on the ceiling was spreading.

Both his father and his grandfather would kill him four times over if they ever saw him like this.

Heero's body stiffened in Duo's arms as the regularity of Duo's sleep pattern started to ebb away. A contented sigh trembled against the side of his face. "I shouldn't have worried that this was only a dream," came Duo's soft mumble. But Heero was far more concerned with the movement of Duo's lips than his actual words. "I knew you wouldn't leave me," he went on as he propped himself up over Heero's body, staring down with that adoring expression of his. "Though I can't say I ever thought I'd get to wake up with a Heero in my bed." His lips split into a grin that was suggestive but hardly a leer, and it made Heero flush deeply.

As Duo leaned down to kiss him, Heero's first thoughts were back on how his guardians wouldn't be too pleased to find out he'd been involved in such things - especially with another boy. But as he tilted his head a bit to accommodate Duo, he found himself wondering further if his engaging Duo in this sort of thing had more to do with spiting them or his own personal pleasure. To say the least, there was something very comforting in the feel of Duo's mouth against his. He hadn't realized Duo was capable of such tenderness - or that he, himself, was, either.

And despite the wet touch of Duo's lips along his jawbone, Heero wasn't entirely sure he could trust this to be reality. He felt too at ease, too content with things for it to be. He hadn't done anything to deserve such affection, especially from Duo. He wanted to ask Duo why again, even though they'd already been through a similar discussion the night before, but he knew that hearing Duo repeat those things wouldn't make the situation any clearer to him. He had to just admit the situation was beyond his understanding, a fact that made his willingness altogether even more queer.

The pleasantness of the moment was a bit more overwhelming to Heero's senses than he'd initially realized, because when Duo spoke, Heero startled, despite the soothing, rumbling tone of his voice.

"You're still scared of me, aren't you," Duo said rather matter-of-factly as he propped himself up on one elbow. He still kept his other arm around Heero, though, keeping him in a loose embrace. Though he was hardly being possessive of him, Duo was silently relieved that Heero was at least not making any moves to shake him off.

"I'm not scared," Heero retorted almost immediately, keeping his eyes adamantly trained on the ceiling stain above him as to avoid the temptation of looking at Duo. He didn't want Duo to find any validation in that claim by some haphazard expression on his face.

Not that it mattered: Duo had his lips against Heero's neck again, tasting the skin he'd sampled so eagerly the night before. "I beg to differ," he went on. "I think you're scared shitless of me."

Heero started to squirm a little but still didn't make any moves to get up, especially after Duo had made such a statement. He refused to let Duo be right about him. Besides, Duo was still kissing him and the affectionate gesture was one Heero was quickly learning to appreciate. His lips parted with the impulse to admit that, but then realized voicing it wouldn't be any better than letting Duo think he'd won. Instead, he said, "You can't control me like you do all those other sad fucks you toy around with." Despite his intention, he still sounded warbled.

That comment caused Duo to bolt away with a start. Heero tore his eyes from the ceiling stain and propped himself up on his elbows, looking over at Duo with an ambiguous expression lighting his dark blue eyes. He had meant the comment to scathe, which it obviously had, but now that he was seeing that wounded expression on Duo's face, he felt kind of bad about it. "Wh-what I mean to say is...." His stammering was cut off by the noisy sound of someone knocking on the door of the room.

"Shit," Duo grunted, suddenly switching gears with a speed that left Heero feeling somewhat belittled. The arm across Heero's chest was quickly snatched away and Duo was suddenly swinging his legs off the edge of the bed and standing up, combing one hand through his messy hair in an effort to tidy it while the other tried its best to neaten the rumpled clothing he'd slept in. He walked over to the door and cracked it open just enough so he could peer out into the hall.

Heero craned his neck to try and see who was there, but found it to be of no use. Instead perked his ears to the conversation and listened in. "Still haven't found my key ring," Heero heard Trowa say from beyond the obstruction of Duo's body and the door. A rush of uneasiness sloshed in his stomach at the sound of his voice. And more exactly, how would his presence on Duo's bed be so easily explained away?

"You gotta talk to Noin about that shit, man," Duo said unsympathetically, still not budging from his place in the doorway. "What if you came banging up here and I was in the middle of fucking or something? You think I'd stop for your ass? Yeah the fuck right." He snorted derisively.

"And have my parents skin me alive for the fifty dollar charge they have on new keys? Forget it," Trowa scoffed back. "And don't try and kid me - you never bring anyone back to the room. Get out of the way. I'm late enough as it is."

"What, so I'm predictable now?" Duo said, sounding vaguely insulted, though his smug moment didn't last very long. Duo's feet skidded a little and the door bucked as Trowa tried to push his way into the room, clearly losing patience for Duo's games.

There was a loud bang as Trowa's body collided with the door, suddenly jumpstarting it open and sending Duo stumbling back a few paces. The longhaired boxer didn't seem very pleased with this sudden turn of events and the scowl on his face certainly showed it. He whirled around, frantically trying to think of a good way to explain Heero's presence, though he knew something lame like 'We were just studying all night' probably wouldn't hold water with someone like Trowa.

One finger raised in the air, his voice died on his tongue, when he found his bed strangely vacant. Trowa was walking towards his half of the room with a gait that suggested more annoyance, something that was confirmed when Duo tried to say something about it. "Don't be such an ass, Duo!" Trowa snapped as he started rifling through his chest of drawers. "I'm on a schedule here, and I don't appreciate you jerking me around for kicks. I'd venture to say a good majority of people don't find it nearly as amusing as you do!" Not finding whatever he was looking for, Trowa slammed the top drawer closed and yanked open the second, hardly noticing as a spare undershirt wafted to the floor as he pushed his clothing around.

"You're not my dad, jackass, so quit trying to discipline me like you are," Duo grumbled, plopping down on the trunk at the foot of his own bed and leaning his chin into his hands with an even more intensified scowl.

Trowa didn't even benefit Duo with a wayward glance, much less a verbal response. He turned his back on his roommate as he started stripping himself of his old clothes so he could change into the jeans and turtleneck he'd retrieved for himself. He stuffed the dirty laundry into the cloth bag leaning in the corner of the room and quickly started for the door, pausing only briefly by the mirror next to the door to comb his fingers roughly through his long bangs. "Keep an eye out for those keys," he said in parting as he opened the door and closed it with a severe slam. There was a moment's pause before the door cracked open again and he poked his head back in to add, "Oh, and if you see Heero around, tell him Noin's been looking for him. Without your usual lack of tact, please." He pulled the door closed again, this time with a note of finality.

Duo stared at the door for a few seconds and then turned his attention back to the still-empty bed, wondering what the hell had happened to Heero. The rain was coming down harder outside, and Duo seriously doubted that he'd managed to slip out the window undetected. "Heero?" he addressed the seemingly empty room. "I know you're hiding around here, somewhere. You can come out, now. No one's gonna bite you." He chuckled quietly, already feeling the corners of his mouth lifting in amusement as he added slyly, "Unless it's me, of course, but I swear you'll like the way I do it."

The room remained unchanged, though Duo was sure he heard a muted scuffling from somewhere nearby. He perked up, his eyes darting warily about. "Heero?" he tentatively called again.

There was another scuttling noise, a bit more prominent than before this time. Duo was a little surprised to find it was a lot nearer to him than he'd initially thought. He stood up again and slowly turned in a circle as he wandered to the center of the room, finally settling back on his bed. Curious understanding filling his eyes, Duo carefully stooped down into a low crouch and peered underneath it. Amidst the dark shadows, he was met with a familiar pair of startlingly blue eyes, which glimmered sharply back at him.

"Heero?" Duo was surprised at how soft his voice was, almost like he was coaxing a scared kitten. "What're you doing under there?"

Heero blinked back at him. In the dim light, Duo could just make out how tense the backs of Heero's hands were.

Duo's eyebrows rose up beneath his long bangs, but he didn't pass any verbal judgment on Heero's instinctual reaction. Instead, he asked simply, "Was it Trowa?"

Heero nodded carefully. He seemed a little sheepish that he'd been caught doing such a thing. He kept his lips clamped firmly together, deciding this was bad enough; Duo didn't need to know that that Trowa's sudden intrusion had actually given him a real start.

"Well, he's gone now," Duo said, even though the statement was obvious enough. He held out his hand like a peace offering, but otherwise remained still. Any in depth thinking about the oddity of the situation was overshadowed by Duo's determination to get Heero to trust him at whatever cost. "You don't have to worry about the wrong people finding out about me and you. I know when to keep a lid on it." Duo hoped directly addressing the developing relationship between the two of them wouldn't have a negative effect on Heero.

Slowly, Heero dragged himself out from the safety underneath the bed and clambered into an upright position. "Sorry," he mumbled. "It was a gut reaction - I used to do it when I was hiding from my grandfather...." Heero trailed off there, reluctant to admit how recently the last time he'd done it had been.

Duo settled down in a more comfortable position on the floor, crossing his legs and leaning back on the heels of his hands. "It's okay. I used to do something like that, too, when my dad was in one of his... moods," Duo told Heero, lifting his chin and staring up at the plaster ceiling thoughtfully. "There was this huge azalea bush in the back of our yard that, for whatever reason, had grown to have this sort of hollow middle - like a fort or something. I'd go and crawl under there when I got scared." The tip of Duo's tongue wedged itself between his teeth as a nearly silent chuckle caused his mouth to stretch up into a short-lived smile. "Once, he was pissed I skipped Easter Mass and came after me like the Devil was on his heels. I ran out there to get away, but it was pouring out - like today --" he jerked his head towards the rainwater sliding down the window pain. "I ended up with pneumonia from sitting in the mud under this dripping bush for two really fucking cold hours!"

He slapped the ground and roared like he'd just delivered the punch line of a joke, but Heero wasn't sure he found it so funny. He didn't think that the notion of having a father like his patriarchal figures was anything to laugh over at all.

Noticing Heero's lack of amusement, Duo awkwardly let his laughter subside. He scratched the top of his head and avoided Heero's solemn stare as he tried to remedy the flat-faced moment. "It wasn't all bad," he insisted, fingering the hem of one sock with his index finger, twisting the darned material around the tip of it. "I got quarantined to my bed, so I didn't have to see either him or my stupid brother for almost three weeks. It was the best month of my life." He snapped the sock against his ankle and then grabbed another handful of it, tugging at it some more. "Dad said God was paying me back, but I like to think He was just doing me a favour instead." He grinned wide at Heero, as if seeking approval for the story with this new addendum.

Heero wasn't sure he understood. "I don't see why you continue to believe in something like God, despite all the hardships it causes you." he wanted to know. Had he been in Duo's shoes, he wasn't sure he'd have been able to have such resolute faith.

Duo's back straightened at the comment, as if he had taken slight offense. "Hey," he clucked, "I told you before, you don't gotta be religious to have faith in something, yo." He lifted his chin and said with a touch of pride, "Why should I spite the Big Guy just because my dad is a piece of shit? So he's the wrong guy for the job - it's not like it's particularly hard to become a pastor and all that. Just because you have the title doesn't make you qualified."

Though Heero still wasn't quite sure where Duo was coming from on that whole issue, he supposed the explanation at least made a little sense. He couldn't think of enough politicians and administrators who'd gotten into their respective positions by who knew what means. Hell, even his own grandfather was a good example; Heero thought his Grandfather J was too in love with manipulating other people to have an authoritative position in the scientific community. It bothered him to no end that a lot of people didn't see the same men Heero did when they were all behind closed doors. He had a feeling that Duo's faith had more to do with honouring that Sister Helen than getting back at his father; it wasn't any secret which of the two Duo respected more.

"Hey, hey, Heero - stop looking so perplexed!" Duo called, snapping his fingers between Heero's eyes. He relaxed, and Heero shook himself out of his daze, a little surprised to see that Duo had crawled rather close to him and was hunched in front of him on all fours. "Man, you looked really intense there. Just what the hell were you thinking so hard about, anyway?"

Heero shrugged ambiguously. "Just what you said - you know, about God and all." He quickly added that last bit to keep Duo from probing too deep. He wasn't sure he was prepared to be as open about his personal life as Duo was.

"O-oh," Duo hummed as he sat back on his calves, a kind of pleased expression spreading across his features. "So, tell me all your thoughts on God."

Hesitating, Heero let out a low hum as he tried to think of something to say, but found the only thing filling his head was the rush of the falling rain outside. "I think...." His voice was small at first as he clawed for the right words. "I think that if there is one, I must be very far."

A strangely endearing look crossed Duo's face as he chuckled to himself. "Me too," he said a bit guiltily. "But," he went on with a slight cocking of his head, "I'd like to think I'm on my way." His braid tumbled over one shoulder and plopped into his lap, where his hands groped to play with the end of it. His eyelids became a bit heavy as he glanced away, fixating on the long shadows cast by the furniture. "I'd want to ask why we're who we are."

"Why would you ask something like that?" Heero blurted before he had a chance to stop himself. "Don't you think there are more important questions you'd want to ask some all-knowing deity?"

Duo tossed his shoulders, his mouth a diagonal streak across the lower half of his face. "Maybe. I dunno," he said slowly, shifting his position for what seemed to be the hundredth time. "Maybe I'd just want to know why, if He's the one who made us all so different, how come everyone hates each other. How come He made me gay and I'm still going to hell...." He leaned his cheek into the palm of one hand, still contemplatively staring at the shadows.

"I'm not sure I'm the one you ought to be asking those sorts of questions," Heero answered slowly, taking the moment to study Duo's profile. He'd seen a face like his before - it stared back at him every time he glanced at the window. He quickly averted his eyes when Duo started to face him again, feeling the need to cover himself with another afterthought. "What's it matter, anyway? You like who you like, and no one has the right to dictate otherwise...." His speech dwindled when he noticed the poignant way Duo was staring at him. "What are you doing?"

Duo's grin was sly and feline, but there was still something altogether endearing about it. "I like you," he said by way of explanation, though it only left Heero with a furrowed brow. "And you're right," Duo continued, fidgeting like he had the urge to pull Heero into his lap and cuddle with him, "it's not up to anybody but me to say how I should feel - and I know how I feel about you." He chuckled a little, adding, "Maybe that's why God sent you down, to try and win me back to his side - to let me know that as far as He's concerned, it's okay. Because He knew that with me, you'd be the one I'd choose."

Heero cast his gaze away again. He was still unused to Duo's affection, despite the warm feeling that rolled through his chest whenever Duo looked at him with that loving expression of his. He wasn't sure what separated it from the way other people had looked at him in the past. Maybe it was the sense of honesty that he'd always felt from Duo, even before things had started to sail for the better between them; Duo never seemed like one to say something just for the sake of courtesy. He decided to at least show Duo the same respect.

"Then I don't see why you bother asking yourself such existential questions if you admit yourself they don't matter," Heero said succinctly, trying hard to ignore the way Duo was watching him. He sunk his teeth resolutely into his bottom lip, shifting for the first time to clamber to his feet. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see what Noin needs me for," he announced, making a production of rolling up his sleeves, more for the sake of distraction than anything. He needed to retreat, to regroup; nothing was really making any sense at all. He felt like he was finally holding the missing piece to a puzzle but now had no idea where to put it.

Duo was quiet for a few contemplative moments, happy to just watch Heero caught in the muted morning light as he stood. He didn't care what Heero tried to convince the both of them of: he was certain the exchange student was some sort of angel - one just for him! He just knew Heero would be the one to save him from his nowhere life. "It's no wonder I found peace through you," Duo murmured, his eyes trailing Heero as his feet creaked across the floorboards.

Already at the door, Heero's hand lingered on the handle, unsure of why he was having such a hard time turning his wrist to open it. He'd heard Duo's voice, but for some reason the words sounded alien, like a language he didn't understand, and yet, there was something compelling about them that filled Heero's toes with lead. Under Duo's gaze, Heero had felt aflutter and full of unease, but now that he was no longer met with it, he wasn't quite sure what he was running from. Maybe Duo was right, and he really was just scared - of everything. Words suddenly started to clot his mind and he felt his lips moving, though he still didn't recognize their sound when they came out. "I'm not sure where I'm going anymore, Duo," he said, "but I want to talk. I just... don't know what I should say."

"Most of the time, you don't need to," said Duo with a shrug, his eyes still trained on Heero's back. They were both unnaturally still, like they were each waiting for the other to move first.

It was Heero who ended up breaking their silence, first with a deep inhalation of air, and then with another round of unprecedented words. "Not that it matters much anyway," he said, his fingers tightening around the door handle like they might actually bend the brass. "People say they listen, but I still feel ignored."

Duo's response was immediate and sincere, coming out so easily, Heero hadn't expected it. "I don't ignore you - don't want to. I don't think I could do it if I tried," he said, his voice fluttering and gentle to a point where Heero almost didn't recognize the sound.

"I don't see why. I still say you're wasting your time with me," Heero said quickly, like denying it would calm things back into a devil he knew how to handle. It was much safer to be where he'd been before, he kept trying to remind himself, despite how the mantra seemed more hollow with each repetition. He quickly gave the door handle a fierce rotation, like the extra force would drive his seemingly incapable body to budge.

"Hey, Heero," Duo called out after the exchange student, who was still lingering in front of the unopened door like he'd been expecting Duo to say something in parting. "You should try believing in something bigger than yourself," he said from his spot on the floor. "It just might, you know, cheer you up."

Heero's only response was to finally pull the door open and silently take his leave of the room, closing it gently behind him without even a wayward glance in Duo's direction. Duo remained where he was, crowding his knees against his chest and leaning his chin on top of them, a sated smile on his face as he thought about the moments he'd shared with Heero and how he'd held him all night. There was a seed of warmth weeded deep in his chest; he thought it had died a long time ago.

Outside, in the hall, Heero leaned his back against the door, breathing heavily like he'd just spent the night running from ghosts. "Cheer up, huh," he mused to himself, lifting his chin to stare absently at the plaster ceiling. The hallway was drafty. He shivered.

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