[catholic schoolboys rule!] Title: Catholic Schoolboys Rule!
Author: Link Worshiper
Pairings: 1=2, 3=4, mentions of others
Stuff: AU, pokes at religious institution, fluff/sap, angst, lemon topping and a bit of drag XD
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, Bandai and a lot of other people who aren't me. +5 skill points if you guess the title reference.

Filling a request for Rainya, because she feeds my geek needs. Thanks to Natea for the once-over and to BadMomma for helping me do some major surgery on this one.

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XIV.

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Whether it was his attitude or his status as an RA, Wufei had always been the sort to be a bit more detached from the rest of the student population. He had his friends and those he respected, but he still kept most of them at arm's length, a little more focused on his academics than social relations. Still, that by no means meant that he wasn't observant of his environment. In fact, sometimes Wufei felt that because he was somewhat removed from the social hierarchy of Saint Magdalena's, he had a better perception of its workings, though it was a thought he mostly kept to himself.

But other times, he couldn't help but be aware of this tendency of his - especially when he was in a situation where there was nothing one could do to avoid curiosity. A prime example of this had developed during after school hours, when sports practices were all underway. As someone who made it his personal business to make sure everyone at his fencing team in harmony, Wufei had noticed that Heero had seemed a little off-kilter lately. He didn't mean to pry when he approached him after practice, but he was concerned by Heero's faltering form - especially with a tournament coming up soon.

"It's nothing," Heero insisted. "Just been really busy lately, that's all. It's stretching me thin." He seemed to think that was all that needed to be said on the matter and abruptly went back to helping Wufei gather the team's equipment. With his arms full of fencing masks, he started off for the storage closet they were kept in, not even looking back to see if Wufei was following.

Wufei stood with a foil in each hand, staring skeptically after Heero. He didn't believe that was the whole story for a second, and he immediately felt himself consumed by a resolve to find out what was going on. He told himself it was for the sake of the team, but inwardly, he knew it had more to do with the fact that he was just as moved by the unhappiness of others as anyone else might be, even if he was a bit more tight-lipped about such things. Bending down to snatch up a few other spare foils as he went, he quickly stalked off in the same direction the exchange student had gone, resolutely calling after him.

"I'm not stupid, Yuy, so don't insult me by treating me like I am," Wufei said when he caught up to Heero by the equipment closet. Heero was inside, swathed in the safety of its concealing darkness, but Wufei quickly stripped him of that by turning up the lights with a very pointed flick of his hand. "If you're so unfocused it's going to cost us that tournament, then I'm cutting you out of the lineup. I won't be a sloppy captain by allowing a sloppy fencer sit at the top of my roster."

Heero seemed unmoved by Wufei's threat, still silently returning the fencing masks to their proper shelf as if no one had been there at all, arranging them with the care of someone lining a crypt niche with skulls. It was actually somewhat unnerving and it made Wufei's skin crawl a little to see a person behave in a manner that was almost more detached than his own. When Heero was through with that chore, he turned around and raised his eyebrows at Wufei like he'd just noticed the Chinese fencer for the first time, and then pushed his way past him like his presence was completely inconsequential. Wufei frowned again.

Quickly stowing the fencing foils in the closet, Wufei pulled the door shut and hurried to catch up with Heero. He reached out and grabbed the exchange student by the shoulder, wrenching him around. "I don't like your attitude," he said fiercely. His voice seemed to reverberate extravagantly against the cinderblock walls of the empty hallway, making it seem almost as if it didn't belong to him at all.

Heero batted Wufei's hand away with a hint of disgust, clearly uncomfortable with the other teen's hand in his personal space like that. "If I wanted to discuss my personal life with you, I'd let you know first," Heero snapped with an air of unfriendliness. He may have respected Wufei, but he hardly found reason to expand his relationship with him beyond that. Respect hardly garnered trust as far as Heero was concerned. But then again, Heero wasn't much for trusting anybody.

Wufei glared at Heero's back, his displeasure hardly a secret by the scowl on his face. He supposed he should have expected a reaction like this from Heero - especially considering his current temperament - but Wufei had been too concerned with finding a fast solution to the problem at hand. Now he wasn't sure if he was digging himself deeper into a bad situation and found himself not fond of the uncertainty. Though part of him did have to admit that he found Heero's resilience rather admirable. But then again, he supposed that was something else he probably should have foreseen.

"Heero, I'm not through talking to you!" Wufei called, deciding that intellectualizing the situation to death wasn't going to help with rectifying it. But even the wavering seriousness in his tone wasn't enough to make Heero reconsider the finality of the discussion, and he kept walking as if he hadn't heard a thing. The ignorance of his authority pulsed through Wufei like his heart had pumped it into his bloodstream. He started after Heero again, his frustration bubbling up a fraction more with each step. "You're not the only one with problems, Heero, and it's not fair to anybody else to act like you are," he was saying, the thud of his footfalls punctuating every word. "No wonder you have a hard time making friends!"

Suddenly, Heero halted and whirled on Wufei. "Don't you judge me!" he shouted, his sheer volume enough to make the overhead fluorescents tremble with fear at the enormity of his anger. The comment had wounded Heero's fragile ego, almost as if Wufei had struck him with a branch he hadn't realized was barbed with thorns. Heero's fist clenched at his side, aching to reciprocate the hurt that was now welling up inside his breast, and it was only that lingering respect that stayed his hand.

The explosive reaction almost physically blew Wufei to the ground, and he swallowed visibly, somehow feeling a twinge of guilt for what he'd said. It was suddenly very clear to him that, despite his hardened shell, Heero was actually rather delicate on the inside, like a butterfly quivering atop a leaf as life's gusty winds threatened to tatter him. He tried to meet Heero's eyes to offer a sincere apology, but found the Japanese youth's face turned away and shadowed by the fall of his thick bangs. The ensuing silence gaped between them, and it soon faded into a dull ringing inside Wufei's ears. What had he done? He thought he'd understood Heero so well - thought he could read him like a book! - only to discover he'd been very wrong.

But just as he was mulling over these things, once again over-thinking what his next course of action should be, an unexpected laugh echoed from further down the hall, and it made Wufei suddenly tense as it drew nearer. The voice's owner was trouble incarnate, and his name was Duo Maxwell.

"What up, dawgs?" Duo chirped, completely ignorant of the argument that had just transpired as he neared them. He was fresh from boxing rounds, his chest bare and slick with sweat and his hair a jumble, with flyaways sticking out in every direction. A pair of black boxing gloves was slung casually over one shoulder.

Heero faltered and paused at this new distraction, turning to glance at Duo, but his expression didn't change. In a placid tone, he merely said, "I was just telling Wufei how I quit the fencing squad, that's all."

He lifted his foot like he meant to keep walking, but found himself unable to move. Puzzled, he glared down his arm to find Duo gripping it tightly and then lifted his eyes to find Duo staring at him with a shockingly serious glint steeling his irises. "You what?" he growled softly. The sound sent an unwitting shiver down Heero's spine.

"I quit," Heero repeated, though this time he made sure to direct the words at Wufei, who seemed just as surprised by the notion as anyone else. Then Heero gave his arm a sharp jerk and wrenched his hand free so he could start down the hallway again.

Duo was staring at his hand like he was trying to figure out why Heero's wasn't in its clutch anymore, but only for a few seconds, because he was soon directing his glare at Wufei. "You have a lot of fucking explaining to do, pal," he snapped in parting as he started to hurry after Heero, who was still only a few feet away.

When Duo's hand snapped around his wrist for a second time, Heero nearly yelped, definitely not expecting to be pursued anymore. Especially after such succinct words! He balked a little to find himself eye to eye with Duo once more and swallowed when he realized that they were also little more than nose-to-nose as well. Pointedly turning his head, he forced a breath down his throat and choked out, "I can take care of myself, you know."

An oddly familiar mist clouded Duo's eyes as he gave Heero a sweeping examination from head-to-toe, his words coming out in a distracted drawl: "I can definitely see that, but...." His arm was creeping around Heero's body in a seemingly casual way, his hand slipping down the length of his spine as he whispered confidentially, "I wish you'd let me do it for you instead, baby."

Heero stiffened, though he wasn't sure if it was more to do with Duo's words or the fact that his hand was now resting on the curve of his ass. His head was aflutter with the sound of Duo's whispering voice, startled to realize that the continued suggestions were only in his imagination. He drew his shoulders back as if the hardened posture would reverse the flush that had rushed to his cheeks and hoped Wufei hadn't noticed. The scent of Duo's sweat wafting past his nose was making him feel a bit lightheaded, though.

However, Wufei, who had been hanging back and watching the exchange with a note of confusion at first, was quick to leap to the obvious conclusion. "This isn't the place for you to feeding your nymphomaniac cravings, Maxwell," he interjected sharply, the corners of his mouth still weighted into a severe frown.

Duo bristled when he heard Wufei, though his reaction was, on the surface, hardly more than a slight twitch in the hand resting on Heero's backside. "And this isn't the place for you to go intervening in other people's affairs, Chang," Duo answered coolly, though the brightness dancing in his eyes was severely misleading - and a bit nerve-wracking.

However, Wufei wasn't deaf to the undertones in Duo's voice. He'd had heard the whisperings about Duo, his elephant sized libido and the temper that matched it, so it wasn't hard to assume what his interest in Heero was. On three separate occasions, Wufei even had to offer council to students on his floor who'd been consumed and then tossed aside by the sex-starved boxer. He was not keen to add Heero's name to that list of people: he had a feeling a mediation session with Heero would be far from an enjoyable experience. Offhandedly, he wondered if Heero realized what sort of trap he was toying with, and then furthering the thought to find unrivaled crassness in Duo's lack of shame chasing down an unsuspecting exchange student as he was. He crossed his arms and turned away, sound a bit haughty in his effort to save face. "I'm hardly the source of the problem," he summed up shortly.

Heero's skin tingled from the lack of contact as Duo lifted his hand and rounded on Wufei, flippant and clearly insulted by the Chinese fencer's words. "I'm not the one pissing people off so badly, they quit my team," he jibed back, narrowing his eyes.

"And I'm not the one out to seduce everything that moves!" snapped Wufei, not even caring if what he said was out of line. His instincts as an RA throbbed, hoping that he could perhaps derail the problem before it sped straight into disaster - even if it meant throwing out some things that were usually left unsaid. "With so many people who know how you are, it's a wonder Yuy there hasn't taken the hint and run!"

With his lip curled in blind rage, Duo took two long strides in Wufei's direction, his fist cocked like he meant to start some trouble, but he didn't get any further than that, because he found his raised arm caught tight in Heero's grip. Startled, he looked back at Heero with wide eyes, his surprise causing his tense posture to relax. His floundering lips mumbled incoherently as Heero intoned to both of them with a low growl: "I told you, I can take care of myself." Then he threw down Duo's hand and turned around, trying yet again to get away from everyone. He just wanted to be alone. That was something he was used to - something he knew how to handle. He didn't need anyone's contempt or pity.

With his hands jammed into his pockets, he quickly took his leave of Duo and Wufei with an agitated gait to his step. He didn't look back to take stock of Wufei's shock or Duo's dismay.

Heero was hardly around the corner when Duo had started after him, determined not to allow Heero to just walk out on him like that, but Wufei wasn't letting Duo off so easily. "You can't be serious," Wufei said, sounding rather aloof. "You're truly incapable of leaving things alone, aren't you." The words caught Duo around the neck like a choking leash.

"What's that supposed to mean? I don't recall asking for your opinion." Duo shot Wufei an unfriendly glare, annoyed that the fencer seemed hellbent on keeping him away from Heero. RA or not, he hated it when people stepped into his business - especially when they were completely ignorant of the whole situation.

But Wufei was rolling his eyes and shaking his head like he thought Duo was a completely lost cause. "You don't see the damage you cause, do you?" he said, crossing his arms. The flickering light over his head cast his face with a sinister shadow.

For the first time in a while, Duo was lost for words. His mouth opened and closed like he meant for words to come out, but there was no sound. His initial instinct was to say something like that it wasn't his fault there were guys out there who were more pathetic than him and would degrade themselves into such meaningless sex, but thoughts of Heero gave that retort a stale taste, and he struggled to try and find a way to aptly describe it otherwise, but nothing seemed quite right. Not to mention he didn't want to hear whatever smartass comment Wufei would come back with. All he ended up being able to manage was a weak, "Heero is different," but it didn't do much to make the sudden hollow he felt ebb away any.

Now Wufei's eyebrows were arched in supreme amusement, like he thought Duo might have actually been trying to pass a good joke. "Different?" he echoed, his voiced laced with what might have been called a chuckle. "Different like the last one you tumbled - who, no doubt, was different from the one before that...."

"No!" Duo vehemently interrupted with the squeak of his sneakers as they skidded across the tile. He caught his balance and calmed down a little, repeating in a much more controlled tone, "No...."

Maybe it was something in the way Duo said that, or perhaps the way he'd hung his head when he did, but it somehow gave Wufei a change of heart. He uncrossed his arms and regarded Duo carefully, like he was trying to see something more than what was just plainly on his face. Had he been wrong about Duo, too?

Nervously fingering one of his boxing gloves, Duo started to speak again, though he was still addressing his shoes. "I've never felt like this," he whispered. "It's not like me at all, but I... I never thought I'd...." He got frustrated trying to express it and grit his teeth, reaching up to clench his forehead with his hand.

Wufei could only continue to stare at Duo, his greatest efforts still not even enough to entirely quell his amazement. He'd heard from so many people that Duo was a shameless ruffian who was simply out to piss off as many people as possible, consequences be damned. He'd thought Duo was the kind of person didn't have feelings for anyone but himself - who enjoyed leading other people on for his own amusement. But this Duo who stood before him was sad, weighted with the misery of heartache.

"He's so many things I wish I could be," Duo was murmuring, still staring at the floor, completely unaware of the thoughts that were flickering across Wufei's face. "When I'm around him, I just feel like he's all that I need - like he fills some part of me that was always empty. There's just something about him that feels as if he's cast me under a spell, and I can't help but be drawn to him." There was a momentary glimmer and a faint splatter as a trace of that very emptiness fell from one of Duo's eyes. "I just don't understand why it hurts."

Somewhere along the way, Wufei had managed to regain his usual composure, but his contempt had faded. "Maybe it's a good hurt," he said simply.

Duo finally lifted his eyes to meet those of his companion, and it was only then that Wufei realized the truth of what Duo was trying to express. Duo's lips seemed to tremble as they moved, and his voice quivered like a lone note on tuning fork. "Wufei, I love him," he whispered. "I love him and I have no idea what to do."

And for that, even with all his counseling experience, Wufei wasn't sure he had a reply.

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As a proud relic of the ancient Middle Ages, Saint Magdalena's campus was one of the oldest of its kind left on Earth. Once a monastery, it had weathered so many centuries of history and tradition, the various legends that had been bred there were just as much a part of its structure as the Gothic splendor of its stone buildings.

The most famous one was associated with an enormous, solitary oak that had grown thick and gnarled in a pleasant little grove at the base of the campus's main hill. The story went that during the initial establishment of the Earth Alliance, a student being sought by the then totalitarian regime had fled and taken shelter in the tree's hollow trunk in order to hide. While the EA's soldiers turned the school over in search of him, the student, who had been the son of a high-ranking politician in the old government, spent three days hiding there, with only a sleeve of crackers for nourishment and fervent prayers that no one would find him. It was said that the grace of the Mother Mary had given the boy protection, and that if one looked closely at the grain of the bark, her image could be seen in the wood. And though the trunk of the old oak had long since closed in on itself, sealing off the hollow, the story had still earned it the name of the Virgin's Canopy anyway. When the season was appropriate, the religious of the school had adopted the tradition of leaving a pure white lily to commemorate it.

Of course, Heero knew nothing of this story, but he had, however, still incidentally found a comforting solitude high in the thick foliage of the tree. His particular strength and capabilities had made scaling it and moving freely amongst its limbs relatively no trouble at all. A number of stray carvings scattered around the trunk hidden by the higher branches suggested Heero hadn't been the first person to discover what a great hiding place the Canopy was, and he had no doubt he wouldn't be the last. Sometimes he would amuse himself by looking for inscriptions he hadn't found before, which, in the expansive maze of branches and leaves, could be an excellent distraction from life's more dreary aspects. Still, he thanked his lucky stars that he'd yet to encounter anyone up there.

The quiet rustle of leaves as the early evening breeze tossed through the foliage was the only thing to distract him from the things that were clogging his mind, but even the light air didn't do much to dispel the little, black clouds that kept wandering around with him and left him feeling down. He knew it had to do with the way things had ballooned so far beyond his control and his worry about what he ought to do next, and then wondered why he no longer had the instinct to improvise. He seemed to have adopted this mentality that tomorrow was just as good as any other day, and he'd get to handling his affairs by then. But then he realized that the idea that he might actually be enjoying the deviation was what unnerved him most.

What was he still doing in this place, he wondered, as he stared down the length of the branch he was straddling. Through the gaps in the foliage, he could just make out the first, faint dots of starlight hiding beyond the pink stains of twilight, and suddenly, they seemed so very far away, while the weary blues veiling the thin sliver of moon up there were just as close as ever. He let out a darkened sigh and a muttered curse of frustration as he reached up to pull angrily on his long bangs, almost as if he was trying to yank them further over his eyes so he wouldn't have to see. It seemed as if everything had suddenly gone still.

Screechy crickets were starting to fill the air with their oddly soothing music and the town beyond the campus was starting to turn up its nighttime lights, which flickered like the glow of fireflies on the horizon. For some reason, peering at it reminded Heero of Duo, and he wondered if the boxer had perhaps gone down there to find himself some Friday night entertainment. He wasn't sure what it meant when he found himself upset by the thought, and for the first time, he wondered how lonely people were supposed to make a life and still shine. He'd never felt such a burn before.

He thought about all the things Duo was probably doing down there and all the men that were probably following him around like sick puppies. Nausea settled in the pit of his stomach as his mind's eye conjured up a series of lucid orgies that all spun and centered around Duo, frightened to realize that he had placed himself right in the thick of such lewd adoration. Maybe his inclusion in such a miserable lot was fitting, he thought, but for Duo's presence there. There was something about Duo that seemed much larger than anything so paltry, and he spent a few moments trying to contemplate why someone like Duo would waste his life away with the dregs of romance like that.

The fantasy was so vivid, Heero was just short of believing it was true until the sound of a familiar voice called him away from it and he snapped back to reality. He swung down to a lower branch to get a better look at the unexpected visitor, and almost unable to contain his shock that it was none other than Duo. For a few panicked seconds, he wondered if Duo had somehow managed to track him to this spot and then mulled over why, if that were the case, he would have even bothered to do so at all. From the way Duo was musing, however, it quickly became to Heero that it wasn't.

"...know he came this way," Duo was muttering under his breath as he plopped down on the bench by the lilies under the tree, dropping his boxing gloves and throwing himself immediately into a contemplative position. Still dressed the same way he had been when he'd come upon Heero and Wufei in the gymnasium hallway, Duo was out of breath and pink from what seemed to be a very invigorating walk up and down the campus. Heero figured Duo had his reasons, hesitant to flatter himself by thinking that such exertion was for his sake.

"Stupid Wufei," Duo continued under his breath, bending down to unlace his sneakers and kick them off. His socks came soon after, landing in pungent balls in the grass. "If I find out the bastard has a big mouth, I swear to God, I'll break him in half."

Duo seemed to have just stopped for a rest, though Heero couldn't help but find his choice in location anything but ironic. He wasn't sure why, but he was bothered by how dejected Duo seemed and wondered why. He wondered if he ought to make his presence known, but wasn't sure if it was such a good idea. If someone he knew as casually as Wufei had started asking questions about why he'd been so distracted lately, he could bet that Duo would, too, and he wasn't sure he was ready to share the answers.

But the rustle he made as he tried to dart back up into the higher reaches of the tree was enough to suddenly call Duo's attention skyward - especially when a few bark shavings and twigs rained down after him. It didn't take long for the boxer to see what had caused the disturbance, and a slow smile crawled across his face as he raised his hands into the air, holding them there like he wanted Heero to reach down and catch him. That is, until he realized that Heero was still scrambling up to the higher branches. He slowly drew his hands back, calling up, "Hey, Heero, wait!"

Contemplation of the request slowed Heero's upward progress for a moment, because in all honesty, he wasn't really sure why he shouldn't wait. He supposed it probably had more to do with his personal problems than anything Duo had actually done. He nodded firmly, satisfied with that explanation, and then quickly continued to dart from branch to branch, dimly aware that Duo wasn't going to stay in once place for very long.

Sure enough, below him, Duo was standing up on the bench, his eyes tracking Heero as he prepared to launch himself up to grab onto the low branch hanging just beyond the reach of his outstretched arms. The branch creaked in protest and shed a flurry of leaves when Duo's strong hands wrapped themselves around its girth, only to whine further as Duo kicked against the trunk, using it as leverage to ease his climb.

Meanwhile, higher up, Heero was starting to run out of sturdy branches to perch on and soon with Duo gaining on him quickly. It wasn't long before Heero found his back pressed up against the bark and his pursuer a mere few feet below him.

Duo, for his part, was at least able to recognize that his quarry felt trapped and had the tact to linger on the branch he was currently standing on, his arms spread out to catch hold of the two branches twisting by his shoulders. Heero was straddling the next branch up from those, and with a moment eye contact, they exchanged a silent assent that the chase had ended.

Duo leaned his weight against the branch nearest Heero's, folding his arms along the length of it, chin nestled atop his laced fingers, peering up through his bangs at the other teenager. "Do you always have to be so difficult?"

"Difficult!? I-" Heero teetered a little, quickly reaching out and steady himself on the branch. He looked past Duo, focusing on the clump of leaves right behind his head as he mumbled, "I don't mean to...."

"To what? Tease me? Drive me so wild?" Duo made it hard to tell if he was joking or not. He scrutinized Heero carefully for a second. "Or are you just trying to teach me a lesson?"

Heero bristled at the comment. "I would never do that!" he said sharply, his fierce eyes piercing in the darkening evening. Lifting his chin, he swallowed and looked away, embarrassed.

Duo seemed pleased with this answer, which was evident in slow grin that crawled across his face. "Then what is it you want from me?" he asked, any indication he might have been upset before completely untraceable now. He chuckled a little, finishing his thought, "Since you don't seem to be fighting me all that hard. At least, not anymore."

There was a moment of hesitation before Heero simply tossed his shoulders in what he hoped was an uncaring shrug. He had been a mere breath away from admitting that he didn't want Duo to stop casting that certain warmth upon him whenever they were together. It was like bathing in the fledgling light of a new sun rising over him - the dawn of a sentiment Heero thought he no longer had the privilege to feel. Not for the first time, he found himself amazed by how much that suddenly mattered to him, and then began to question if he actually did regret his past behaviour towards Duo more than he'd thought.

Duo arched his eyebrows curiously, rearranging his posture against the branch a bit as he watched the subtle changes that fluctuated across Heero's thoughtful face. "Ain't never met a body quite like you, Heero Yuy," he mused with a low whistle. "I think that's some of what I like best about you. It's why I want to be closer to you - in every way." Then, placing a foot on a nearby low branch, Duo started to hoist himself up, pleased when he found that Heero wasn't going to cut and run on him again.

For his part, Heero refused to give the impression that Duo had any kind of power over him and resolutely gripped his perch as he waited for Duo to come up. He hoped Duo couldn't see the turmoil written so clearly upon his features, though. He supposed his nervousness had to do with the unfamiliarity of being treated this way - as if he were special. He didn't think he was special at all, and simply couldn't fathom why anyone else would think so. He wondered if Duo ever felt so confused by feelings like this.

"What is it?" The sudden proximity of Duo's voice startled Heero yet again, and he jumped at the sound of it, embarrassed that he'd momentarily lost track of Duo's position. He shrunk back a bit as Duo reached out to touch his face from the new branch he'd settled on; hardly a foot away, their knees knocked together in the split between their respective perches.

"Nothing," Heero answered, refusing to let himself bend to Duo's charming wiles.

Waggling his eyebrows, Duo crooned, "Thinking about me, huh?"

Heero's face was aflame, but he managed to make an artful dodge despite that. "Why would I? You make as little sense to me as... as...." His words teetered off when a good analogy failed to come immediately to mind. To Heero, Duo was as much an anomaly as the idea of God and heaven, but it frustrated him that for all his knowledge, he was so poor at expressing himself.

Duo chuckled at Heero's fluster and leaned back against the tree's wide trunk, folding his arms casually behind his head as he stared up through the leafy canopy. "Bullshit, man," he drawled lazily. "I've told you tons and tons about myself, and I'll tell you anything else you want to know, too. So don't go trying to pretend like you have no idea what makes Duo Maxwell tick. I'm not that stupid."

Heero diverted his eyes again, deciding that arguing with Duo was hardly a good use of oxygen. He scratched the top of his head, trying hard to explain himself another way. "You use all these words to say one thing and then mean another," he tried again, thinking himself rather feeble at this and growing frustrated that it was so hard. "You say so much without telling me anything at all! How do you expect me to understand?"

"Well, what do you expect me to do?" Duo shot back, a hint of agitation in his tone. "Make my life like an open book or some shit? You're not the only person who gets uncomfortable around other people for chrissakes, Heero!"

"I'd never guess," Heero grumbled, mostly to himself, though still not quietly enough to escape Duo's ears.

"Maybe talking's just my way of keeping a lid on it," Duo said with a slight hiss, crossing his arms and averting his eyes, all the while wondering how the conversation had suddenly turned so sour. He brooded on it as an awkward lull erected itself between the pair of them. He didn't understand why he was so upset by this.

After stealing a few surreptitious glances at his companion, Heero found the air extremely disconcerting. Silence was something he was used to, but this was almost unbearable. He thought maybe he should apologize to Duo, but he had no idea what he ought to say - or if he even felt comfortable admitting he'd done something wrong. And yet, that gaping quiet was somehow more unsettling than even the fancies of his stupid pride. Still, he found his lips moving around words he hardly understood, unsure of why he felt so compelled to say them. "It's overwhelming," he said beneath the squeak of the crickets; "You're overwhelming!"

Duo's shoulders drew back with surprise and briefly straightened at Heero's admission, before relaxing again. The silence was still lingering, but it was different now, with a light breeziness that matched the weather and the drawling smile that had returned to Duo's face. Heero didn't understand what had brought it about, and when Duo quirked his rejuvenated expression back in his direction, Heero couldn't help but ask about it.

Duo shrugged carelessly. "It's just good to know you don't hate me as much as you pretend to," he grinned, swinging his feet back and forth in a manner that was almost childish.

Heero was taken aback, half on his way to telling Duo that he had the complete wrong idea before stopping himself. It was silly to keep denying those sorts of things; it was his own fault if Duo had that impression to begin with.

By then, the sun had packed all its warm colours away for the day and had crawled behind the horizon for its nocturnal rest, leaving the sky pinpricked with thousands of glittering stars. Beneath the shelter of the tree's canopy, the moonlight that filtered through the misshapen gaps in the leaves cast pale ghosts across their faces. It was like hovering on the wisps of some kind of ethereal dream. Heero was afraid to speak anymore for fear of shattering that fragility and remained as he was with his breath trapped deep in his lungs, carefully watching Duo from the corners of his eyes as he continue to kick his legs back and forth.

"Tell me about the moon, Heero," Duo said suddenly, clearly not as sensitive to the moment as Heero was. He had settled back against the trunk and peering up at the sky even though the leaves mostly masked it from view.

"The moon...?" Heero parroted dumbly, momentarily wondering why anyone would ask about something so mundane. He'd forgotten that Duo had lived on Earth all his life.

"Yeah, the moon. What's it like there?" Duo confirmed with a slow nod of his head, still staring heavenward. "Tell me so I won't have to lament about never being able to go."

Heero stared across at Duo, startled by how different he looked in the pale, blue light. If a falling star could have a face, Heero decided it would look like Duo's, just as it was right there, in that moment. A star pulled to Earth that wasn't allowed to shine anymore, despite how hard it was trying - that's what Duo was.

He cleared his throat and looked skyward, like Duo, even though neither of them could really see the moon from where they were perched. "It's nothing special - just another place for humans to ruin," Heero began, not really sure what he ought to say. He wasn't used to people asking him for his opinion, and in the rare instance they did, it was usually just rhetorical anyway.

"Yeah, but it's still got to be better up there, right?" Duo pressed, almost as if he just wanted Heero to confirm facts he already knew.

Heero took a few moments to consider it, wondering if that was true, but kept finding his personal attachments to the settlements up there were skewing his opinion. "Maybe for some people it is," he finally settled on. "It's different, anyway."

"Like how?" Duo wanted to know.

"Like...." Heero lifted a hand but only waving it carelessly when he found he couldn't really come up with anything to say. What could he say about a place he hated so much? Especially when Duo seemed to be expecting some kind of escapist fairy tale, which he knew was the last thing he could ever provide. He sighed with exasperation and peered harder at the sky like it might offer him some kind of aid. He thought his lame answer sounded pathetic: "Like... the stars, for instance. They don't look the same from up there."

But Duo just nodded sagely, like he was absorbing the most fascinating piece of information. "That makes sense. You know, since you're so much closer to heaven and all." He glanced at Heero, giving him that appraising once-over he seemed so fond of, and asked, "Are there lots of other angels up there too?"

"There aren't any angels there," Heero said automatically, almost completely missing the way Duo was looking at him. "There's nothing real about it," he said dully. "It's barren and empty and fake - a total wasteland. It's much better here." His shoulders dropped and he leaned forward, grasping the branch tightly in his hands and reveling in the way the sharp bark cut into his palms. This is real, he thought with a quick glance back at Duo.

Duo snorted softly, tossing his head to shake his bangs out of his eyes. "Oh yeah?" he asked inquisitively; "Well, if it's so much better, then how come you're itching to get back up to space so damn bad, huh?"

Heero turned to him, feeling an alien kind of ache in his chest as he looked at Duo balancing on that neighbouring branch, the fireflies twittering around his face and freckling him with their pale lights. It was strange to see Duo like that, so oblivious and almost innocent looking in his resentment, and yet, Heero found it strangely familiar and fitting for him. He liked it.

"I don't ever plan to go back to the moon," said Heero resolutely, turning his eyes skyward again. "Maybe it won't be any better on the colony, but at least I'll...." He trailed off again, running his hand nervously through his thick hair as he diverted his gaze to the grassy earth below.

"Heero?" Duo tentatively lifted a hand, stretching it out like he wanted to touch Heero, but stopping short and drawing his fingers back. There were a hundred things he suddenly thought to ask, but they all seemed trite. It wasn't until he finally gathered the strength to lay his hand on Heero's shoulder that he found the right words. "What is it that you're looking for out there?" Duo murmured, suddenly very self-conscious of how forward he might have been with the question.

Even in the darkness, the expression Heero lifted to meet Duo's was absolutely heartbreaking, his eyes damp and his lips straining painfully around the words as he spoke them: "She said that's where she'd go - out to L3."

Duo squeezed Heero's shoulder reassuringly, his voice soft and careful as he asked, "Who's on L3, Heero?"

"My mother," Heero mumbled as if he was embarrassed Duo would hear him confess such a thing. "She grew up there and when she left, I just assumed she'd...." The branch quivered beneath him as his body shook, and he hung his head, dejected and ashamed. "I'm just tired of being everybody else's trash," he said, his mouth hardly moving at all.

Duo's grip on Heero's shoulder became almost painfully tight, his fingers digging into the hollow beneath the bone as he grit his teeth and furrowed his brow doggedly. "Fuck that, Heero," he growled. "Who put such a ridiculous idea into your head?"

Heero shrugged, trying to toss Duo's hand off. "It doesn't matter," he muttered. "She probably won't want me either, just like everybody else."

"That's not true," came Duo's voice, quiet and almost wounded. His hand flitted from Heero's shoulder to his chin, carefully lifting it. "I want you, Heero."

Hovering on the moonlit shadows like two disgraced cosmonauts, everything became still as their eyes met amid the twittering fireflies, which danced like stars in the heavy air. He felt blind reaching for Heero, almost as if he were trying to reaffirm he was still there, and before he knew it, he was clambering from his branch to Heero's. His movements were clumsy and almost desperate as he struggled across, but he wouldn't be satisfied until he felt the flutter of Heero's breathing against his palms, and then beneath his chest as he pressed himself against Heero, embracing him tightly.

A quivering warmth on his cheek fell from Heero's lips. "Why?" he breathed.

"Why?" Duo drew back, cocking his head and regarding Heero curiously, like he'd asked a truly inane question. When Duo thought about it and tried to come up with the proper words, he found himself afraid that admitting the whole truth of it would just push Heero away further still. So instead, he wrapped his arms around Heero and hoped his presence was enough to express what he was too nervous to say out loud.

Heero's hands were suddenly on his chest, pressing him back. The exchange student's eyes were downcast, unable to meet Duo's anymore, and his lips were drawn into a saddened bow. "I see what you're doing, Duo, and it's alright. You don't have to keep pretending," he said softly.

Duo was unable to quell his frustration as he suddenly burst out, "I'm not pretending, dammit! What do I have to do to prove that to you?"

But Heero was undeterred, still frowning at the ground. "Your reputation is thick," he mumbled. "I don't see what you could possibly see in me beyond a good fuck. You don't have to keep acting like there's any more to it."

The comment had wounded Duo in ways he'd never anticipated, and it hurt far more than any injury he'd ever suffered in the boxing ring. He was having a hard time quelling his frustration and his passion as he spoke. "Well, what if there is more to it, for God's fucking sake?" he snapped, probably sounding more terse than he should have. "Tell me, Heero Yuy: does that still make me selfish?"

"It makes you ignorant, that's what," Heero snapped back defensively, sucking his chest in as he flattened himself more flush against the tree trunk. "What do you need with a heart that was shattered to begin with?"

Duo's shoulders were shaking. He could feel a mounting argument welling up inside, but he fought to beat it down. This wasn't what he wanted from Heero: he didn't want to keep chasing him away. It felt wrong and it physically pained him to keep it up. He reached for Heero again, moving slowly like he might around a caged, frightened animal. "You're so passionate, Heero, you really are," he whispered as his arms sought to embrace Heero again. "What could have possibly happened to break a will so strong?"

A small part of Heero still thought to fight Duo, but there was something about Duo's conviction that compelled him not to. And then, taking unprecedented leap of faith, he found himself voicing things he'd never been able to say out loud before.

"My father is a brilliant engineer and my grandfather is a brilliant scientist, did you know?" He was speaking so quickly, the words threatened to tumble together incoherently. "Prestige is all they care about - more than anything else! Taking care of me was a secondary task as far as they were concerned. At least until they found that having a small child could be useful for some of their work, and they started training me for their purposes like a little windup soldier without any feelings. Life was like living in a boot camp: if I wanted something, they told me I didn't need it; if I cried, they said, 'Get over it.' If I...."

Here, he broke off, unable to continue. If not for the support of Duo's arms still wound about his torso, he might have had a small breakdown. Duo leaned his forehead against Heero's, closing his eyes and working hard to control his breathing as the anger towards Heero's family started to mount higher and higher. "I'll kill them," he growled so fiercely, it was almost unnerving in its sincerity. "I'll kill them for everything they did to you."

Something akin to vengeance tried to choke itself in Heero's throat when he heard Duo utter such a dark threat, and it took unbelievable amounts of self-control to quell the rage that had awakened itself inside. "Don't worry about it, really. It's nothing I don't know how to deal with," he said flatly. "I've always had to; I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be!" Duo exploded, not nearly as capable of stowing his feelings on the matter as Heero was. "You don't deserve that shit. Nobody does."

"For God's fucking sake, I said not to worry about it!" Heero snapped, the sudden volume of his voice startling Duo. He felt a bundle of nerves - the same unsettling way he felt when his family was near. "You don't have to involve yourself. It's not your affair. I told you I know how to handle it, okay?"

Truth be told, Heero was just worried what might happen to Duo if he tried to insert himself into the situation. Frankly, it was better for everyone if his family had no idea who Duo was, even if reason told him it was unlikely that would end up being the case. For the first time, he found himself praying that no one would voice any misconceptions about his relationship with Duo around either his father or grandfather; he was not that keen on dying.

Meanwhile, Duo had eased off of Heero a bit, but was still staring firmly at the side of Heero's turned face. His mouth creased in a straight line, he said, "Cut the bull, Heero. If you're so good at taking care of things, then how come you're just running the fuck away, huh?" His tone was unsympathetic and direct, and considering his usually careless attitude, almost uncharacteristic.

"I have my reasons," Heero answered curtly before adding more quietly: "Just as I'm sure you have reasons for doing the same thing around your father."

Duo couldn't argue against that, so they fell to another awkward silence as he tried to come up with something else to say. Meanwhile, Heero stared moodily at the section of the branch around which both their hands were clasped. Reluctant to voice his true feelings, and still afraid he might scare Heero off again, Duo resorted to action - it had always worked for him in the past. He edged forward slowly, putting first one hand on Heero's shoulder, then slipping the other beneath his chin to lift his eyes again. "Hey, hey, Heero," he said, hoping to distract Heero from his doldrums.

Heero tossed his head, knocking Duo's hand away from his face, but didn't find the same success when he tried to shrug off the hand Duo had clamped so firmly on his shoulder. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and worried it between his teeth as he absently started to pick at the tree bark, concerned he'd perhaps told Duo too much.

However, Duo wasn't so easy to deter. His heart was palpitating in his chest so vibrantly, it threatened to break his ribs. He had always lived his life like it was just a series of moments, and yet for some reason, he couldn't shake the feeling that this one in particular was more important than any other. Scooting closer to Heero and sliding his spare hand over Heero's thighs, he leaned in as close as he dared, imploring: "Look at me, Heero. Dammit, why won't you just...!"

His words were cut short as the glimmer of Heero's irises as he suddenly wrenched his head up - blues so dark, they appeared black beneath the shadowy fall of his bangs. The depth in his eyes actually started Duo, who hadn't been expecting to be met with such a well of emotion. Heero had always been so careful in what he allowed other people to see - or so Duo had thought; he then felt a hole in his stomach that burned at the thought that all this time, Heero had been this way, and he'd been merely too caught up in himself to notice, just like everyone else Heero knew. No wonder Heero had been so reluctant to offer him his trust.

There was something earnest in Heero's eyes that somehow captivated Duo, though, and despite his unrest, he found himself unable to look away, even pressing himself a bit closer and turning his head gently like he meant to kiss Heero again. "I wish you could see me the way I see you," he murmured, his lips hovering scant centimeters from Heero for the moment it took for him to say it, almost as if he was unsure if he ought to proceed. Then he bent his head and swallowed the air between their mouths, his eyes slipping closed as he offered Heero his feelings the only way he knew how to.

Duo's bangs were soft against Heero's forehead, his touch far gentler than he'd anticipated and his lips far more inviting than he remembered them being. Heero surprised himself when he found himself his own mouth suddenly so pliable beneath Duo's and his head turning easily to accommodate him further. His eyelids were heavy, but it felt more like he was intoxicated than tired. He couldn't tell if it was like touching the sky or drowning in quicksand.

When Duo drew away, Heero found his mouth trailing after, and then was embarrassed when he realized what he was doing, quickly flattening himself against the tree trunk again. However, with Duo pressed so close, his retreat was hardly significant, still pinned him back beneath the weight of Duo's body. Heero was hyper-aware of every contour of Duo's bare chest, the jut of his hips and the curve of his thighs through his thin shorts - especially with Duo sidling against him as he was. He thought he could maybe feel a hint of another sort of hardness to Duo's form, and his cheeks pinked at the notion.

"It's like trying to put the pin back into the grenade," Duo said softly, lifting a chunk of Heero's thick hair to thread his fingers through.

Heero thought to ask Duo what he meant by that, but resisted the urge. He soon forgot about it anyway, as Duo leaned in again and kissed his cheek, his ear, down the curve of his jaw.... Duo's breath was hot on Heero's flesh, his eagerness hardly just a figment of Heero's imagination anymore. "Wouldn't it be kinky," he rasped with a particularly forward thrust against Heero, "to fuck up here? You know, considering what they call this place and everything."

The suggestion and the personal implications for Heero made him even redder than before, and he prayed that the darkness of night would veil the colour. He swallowed, his stomach fluttering when he felt Duo's lips follow the motion down his throat. He never knew he could feel like this before, feeling guilty for wanting things from Duo he'd never dreamt he would. "I-It wouldn't be right - someone would see," Heero protested feebly, this discomfort of his inexperience causing him to prickle like he was sitting on a bed of nails.

Heero's skin felt chilly as Duo withdrew his teasing kisses with a chuckle. "Just the Lady designated to watch over here," he said, smiling at Heero as he angled his head like he meant to lean in for another proper kiss. "We could show her what she missed out on." He cradled Heero's face gently in his hands as he sought that second kiss, smiling against his willing mouth when he found it. "I could show you the way you make me feel," he added before succumbing entirely to the kiss, his words a gentle mumble against Heero's bottom lip.

Feel - the word excited something in Heero that hadn't made a lot of sense before that very instance. He supposed such a thing was something both he and Duo were unfamiliar with, and he felt a reassuring pang twist inside at the thought that he and Duo would be exploring these new emotions together. For so long, Heero had built his defenses like there was no one else who would ever understand what it was like to live a life like his, and yet, here, in the most unexpected of places, he'd found someone who had been scarred just as deeply by the same sorts of wounds.

Of their own accord, his hands crept out to find Duo, falling delicately against Duo's hips at first and then tightening to grasp him with extraordinary ferocity, like he'd suddenly realized that holding Duo whenever he could was the only way to keep him from slipping away. His eyelids drooped closed again, overtaken once more by that drunken heaviness he knew nothing else could compare to. He could picture Duo's face in the back of his eyes as the kiss intensified between them.

Even as he became more consumed with the fearfully dangerous knowledge that he couldn't live with or without him.

++++

Kathunk! The slam of the taxi's trunk echoed off the stone drive, drowning out the thrum of the vehicle's idling motor. A middle-aged man with trim, blond hair stood in the darkness, a suitcase clutched in each of his powerful hands as he started to move away from the car towards the enchanting glow shining through the school's open front door, which framed the black silhouette of a woman in a full skirt. She stepped out into the night as the man drew nearer, her arms extended in welcome as she greeted him: "Mr. Odin Lowe Yuy, I presume?"

The light illuminating the entranceway cast itself across the man's rugged features as an oddly charismatic smile jerked up one corner of his wide mouth. "You presume correctly, Mother," he said with a swaggering little nod of his head. "Thank you for allowing us to visit on such short notice, but you understand the circumstances...."

Mother Superior's expression immediately hardened into the stern expression she was more used to wearing. "Certainly," she said gravely. There was a momentary pause during which the nun looked passed Lowe to the still-idling taxi, squinting as if she was trying to see through its dark windows.

"My father is coming," Lowe's voice said sharply when he caught her looking, startling the elderly woman. "He's settling the fare."

Sure enough, moments after Lowe made that announcement, the back door of the checkered cab opened and the metallic foot of a walking cane slid out from within, tapping loudly against the stone drive as the owner began to clamber out with its support. Soon, an old man with long silver hair emerged from behind the yellow door, his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses. Mother Superior, who had never seen the man known as Doctor Jay in person before, had to stifle an impolite gasp when she caught sight of the unseemly steel claw that hung in place of Jay's left hand as he hobbled towards them. His cane continued to tap ominously against the stone with each agonized step he took.

The old man said nothing when Mother Superior offered the same greeting she had to his son, merely nodding in acknowledgement and waiting for her to lead them inside. The nun simply smiled, though, and daintily stifled any misgivings she may have felt at the stilted introduction, quickly moving on to other, more important things. "If you gentlemen will follow me inside," she said, beckoning them to follow her into the school's vaulting main foyer.

She led them down a corridor towards her personal study, stopping a passing student along the way to relieve Lowe of his luggage and sending her to take it to the guest quarters. They continued on in silence, moving like a funeral procession following a soundless dirge, until they reached their destination.

Weathered hand resting on the handle of the door, Mother Superior pushed it open, speaking to her guests for the first time since she received them in front of the school. "Gentlemen, I have another guest I'd like you to meet," she said as she ushered them into the cozy, wood-paneled room. Gesturing to the man who had just risen from one of the chairs at their entrance, she introduced them: "Mr. Lowe, Doctor Jay, I would like you to meet an old friend and colleague of mine."

With a glass of brandy in one hand, the man bowed politely, an ambiguous smile on his face. "It's an honour to finally make your acquaintances," he said earnestly. "I am Father Maxwell. Come, and let's talk - I'm sure there is much we can learn from one another."

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