[catholic schoolboys rule!] Title: Catholic Schoolboys Rule!
Author:
Link Worshiper
Pairings: 1=2, 3=4, mentions of others
Stuff: AU, pokes at religious institution, fluff/sap, angst, lemon topping and a bit of drag XD
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, Bandai and a lot of other people who aren't me. +5 skill points if you guess the title reference.

Filling a request for Rainya, because she feeds my geek needs. Thanks to everyone who gave this a once-over.

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VI.

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One of the spare classrooms on the second floor was dedicated to study hall periods, but it was rare that anyone hanging out there for a free period was actually being diligent. Early afternoon found Hilde sitting on one of the desks there, her feet planted on the seat of the one in front of her. Relena sat daintily sideways on the next chair, her upper torso twisted so she could rest her arms on the desk behind her, while Dorothy occupied one of the desks across the aisle from them. It was one of the few chances they got to really chat together without too much interference, so they were sure to utilize the time as best they could.

"I just don't understand," Relena lamented, pinching the bridge of her nose as she took in a soothing breath. "I've tried inviting him places, being as nice as I can, but he hardly casts a second glance in my direction." She ran a frustrated hand through her dark blond hair, her fingertips sliding across the delicately woven braids that trailed from behind her ears and met behind her head. "I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong!"

With a smirk on her face, Dorothy snorted derisively, an air of triumph to her reaction, while Hilde glared significantly at her. "Stop making such a big deal out of it," the shorthaired girl said in a cautionary whisper, glancing over towards the head of the classroom, where Heero was reclining in one of the other desks, a worn paperback folded around in one of his hands, a textbook lying ignored in front of him. "It's not fair the way you treat him and the Winner kid like objects, seriously." The competition Relena and Dorothy had brewed up was starting to get a little too cutthroat for her personal tastes.

"What's your problem?" Dorothy wanted to know, arching her eyebrows with a trace of disgust, which did nothing to tone down the horrid way they split into twin forks at the end. "Jealous? Duo not doing it for you anymore?"

A gargle of frustration rumbled in Hilde's throat as she rolled her eyes. "None of your goddamn business, Catalonia. Butt out."

"Oh, sounds like drama!" Relena suddenly clapped her hands together in excitement, though she seemed a bit ashamed of her impulsive comment almost immediately. She chewed her lip awkwardly, once again feeling stretched between her two other friends, who often sat at such polar opposites, she often felt like she was the only thing that kept them remotely attached to one another.

"It's not shit," Hilde insisted, though she was starting to get a bit flustered and agitated all at once. "I think it's time both of you start looking at the world through a wider scope. You don't need to go hunting after a boyfriend just for the sake of having one." She straightened her back and sat up tall, not about to let Dorothy have the upper hand on her because she took a stand.

Dorothy wasn't really listening anyway. She snorted again and then leaned across the aisle to Relena, whispering into her ear just loud enough for Hilde to hear as well. "She talks just like a girl whose boy's moved on to greener pastures."

Relena shifted uncomfortably in her seat and crumpled the hem of her pleated skirt in her hands, still clearly unsure of which way she ought to allow her reaction to lean. Despite that, feeling like she had to put her two cents in, she said somewhat meekly, "Maybe you should stop dressing in that cumbersome winter skirt all the time, Hilde."

Hilde knew better than to listen to what Dorothy had to say, especially when she was just blowing hot air like that. Smoothing out her long skirt, she focused her attention on more important things, like making sure Relena hadn't gotten up to go nag Heero for the millionth time that day, or how much time was left in the period according to the analog clock hanging over the chalkboard. The heavy afternoon sun was painting lethargic shapes across the room through the slatted blinds and the thick, golden light was making her sleepy.

As she was doing so, she heard the gentle click of the classroom door opening, and she turned her head just in time to see Duo slip back into the room, straightening his rumpled tie with one hand and shoddily tucking in his shirttails with the other. The stray, flyaway hairs shooting out of his thick braid were more than enough evidence to suggest how Duo had been spending his study hall. The incessant flip-flop of his shoes followed him as he padded down one of the aisles, the way his fingers trailed across the top of Heero's desk as he passed by not easily lost to Hilde's sharp eye. The simple action startled Heero as if Duo had struck a match across the wood, but the brooding glare he sent after Duo was quick enough to only be met with the swing of Duo's long hair as he ambled towards the back of the classroom. Hilde narrowed her eyes slightly, immediately recognizing Duo's game. She'd have to confront him on that later.

Any concerns she had regarding the way Duo was toying with Heero were put to rest for the time being, however, because Dorothy had taken it upon herself to flag Duo over, some kind of seedy intent glimmering in her dull blue eyes. Unsuspecting and unaware of what had just been under discussion amongst the three girls, Duo obliged with his usual charms, sidling onto one of the desks to join their gossip ring. "You summoned me?" he said drolly and mockingly bowing his head in Dorothy's direction. "What're you angling for?"

Dastardly was probably the only word to describe the shape of Dorothy's curled lips. "Always so suspicious, aren't you?" she accused him, sounding playful. Hilde sucked in a wary breath, and Relena made it apparent that the back of Heero's head was far more interesting than any of them. "I just wanted to ask you how you've been, Duo," Dorothy went on, now pretending to sound hurt. "We never really get a chance to talk."

"And I'm a saner man for it," Duo cut in with a mouthful of dark sarcasm.

"That stings, Duo - right here." Dorothy patted the left side of her chest, continuing with the hurt front. "You're dating one of my best friends, and you're saying I don't have the right to get to know you?" she emphasized, sending both him and Hilde each a significant look.

Duo seemed wildly amused by the comment, but Hilde couldn't help but feel even more uneasy than before. Dorothy never did anything without an ulterior motive, and this entire charade smacked so keenly of that, it was almost ridiculous. She only hoped that Duo was just as aware of what he was walking into; she could watch his back, but there was only so much she could prevent.

Duo's face took to a more snide expression as he leaned one elbow on his knee and jabbed his finger in Dorothy's direction. "My relationship with Hilde is none of your damn business, ya damn hussy," Duo said, not about to pull his punches. He laced his fingers together and stretched his arms forward as he skipped to his feet again. "If that'll be all, I have better ways to spend my time."

He took his time sauntering down the aisle between the group of them, rounding Heero's desk at the front of the row as he passed by again, this time pushing his fingers deep into Heero's thick hair and tousling it as he did. Heero's teeth grit tightly as Duo's palm forced his head almost parallel with the book he had opened up on the desktop, blurring the proofs printed on the pages as his eyes became unfocused with their proximity to the text. It only lasted for a moment, though, because Duo's hand swiftly danced after its owner as he moved on, leaving Heero to snap back up and frown after him. Duo even had the gall to throw a soft kiss over his shoulder, his cobalt eyes clouded with some hybrid of desire and dominance.

Fitfully tossing his paperback book to the pages of his textbook, Heero was twisted around uncomfortably in his chair, his focus still drawn to Duo. "What the fuck gives?" he blurted out angrily, unable to suppress his malcontent. He was starting to get tired of the way Duo was treating him; the mixed messages were beyond frustrating.

Duo stumbled to a halt, slowly turning around with an expression of what Heero deemed as feigned innocence. His face was crusted with charm, but Heero could tell Duo was extremely on guard. He wondered what it was that inspired Duo to tango so carefully around him with such carefully placed steps. "You talkin' to me?" Duo asked gruffly, turning around with a hand on each hip and pacing purposefully back towards the place where Heero sat so defiantly. "It looks like you're talkin' to me."

Heero found himself quickly losing patience with Duo's endless games. He liked his life to be straightforward, and wasting time trying to make sense of things that confused him wasn't something he was particularly fond of. "Hell yes, I'm talking to you," he said just as harshly, hoping his seriousness came through explicitly. "You're the only one whose hobby it is to make things difficult for me."

Duo scoffed, his eyebrows arched unevenly and his parted lips quirked into an equally misshapen line. "Difficult for you?" he queried, clearly not impressed. "Spaceboy, you don't know the definition of difficult if you think that's what my number is."

Heero was pretty staunch himself. "Is that so?" he asked, crossing his arms defensively over his hard chest.

Duo was standing by Heero's seat again, slouched easily against the desk behind it, his large hands clamped firmly atop his hipbones. Heero couldn't help but trace the shape of Duo's thighs, unable to stop himself from comparing the way they'd looked wrapped in stockings to how his well-cut slacks hung from them now. He was only dimly aware of the fact that Duo was retorting to his comment. "It sure as fuck is," Duo was saying, hooking his thumbs over his belt and tugging his slacks a bit further down his waist. "All the shit I've had to put up with around here was bad enough until you came crash landing here."

Jabbing a finger at himself, Heero growled, "Me? What the fuck did I do?"

"You left the fucking moon, that's what!" Duo's eyes flashed as he whirled on Heero, suddenly grabbing his shoulders and giving him a hearty shove backwards. "You left the moon when you should have goddamn stayed there. Why the hell would you leave a place as wide and boundless as space to come down to a confining rock of dirt like this? I still think you're a damn fool for doing it. Once you're here, that's it! You're stuck; there's no getting off this dust ball."

With the edge of the desk digging painfully between two of his ribs, Heero glared back at the longhaired boxer, boiling with the sheer resentment rolling off Duo like a thick fog. "I still don't see why that gives you the right to treat me the way you do."

"Treat you like how?" Duo snapped, banging his hands suddenly against the desktop behind Heero's chair. "I treat you exactly like you goddamn deserve to be treated." His nose was just a hair's breadth away from Heero's, and his entire face looked to the Japanese exchange student like an incoherent smear.

"What, like an object? A toy?" Heero found himself vaguely insulted by Duo's words. "I refuse to be anyone's doll - not even yours, Duo Maxwell!"

Their voices had risen in volume enough that all the other students in the room were regarding them with curiosity - particularly Relena and Dorothy, who were both watching with avid interest. Hilde, on the other hand, had covered her face with both palms, embarrassed by the whole childish display.

Any expectation Heero had of Duo's reaction was dashed when the boxer's face suddenly loosened, the very picture of nonchalance. The devilish smirk Heero remembered from the warped light of the club now turned Duo's features as he inched a bit closer, bumping their noses playfully. "But you'd be my something, right?" he asked, his voice a suggestive whisper.

Heero balked, clenched by that inexorable shiver of warmth again. He wasn't so sheltered that he hadn't figured out what Duo was trying to suggest, but the idea of it was still very alien to him. Frankly, he wasn't even sure what he wanted in that sense. Panic settled in and took over, just as it usually did whenever he was met with something he was uncertain of, and he quickly found himself retreating. "Are you so insatiable that one significant other isn't enough?" he asked abruptly, his eyes flicking over in Hilde's direction. "The way you treat me is angelic compared to the way you treat her!"

Duo snapped back, his face an indistinguishable mess of confusion and aghast horror. No one had ever brought up his relationship with Hilde in such a direct way before, and so far, that had worked out for the best; now, he could already smell the fumes of a charred ruse becoming stronger with every word that passed Heero's lips. He wanted desperately to tell him to stop, but he knew that wouldn't probably do much to help his situation. He had to do what he could to make sure this didn't explode too violently; the last thing he needed was to be the school's premiere gossip, which he knew would happen in a heartbeat if his carefully hidden double life became common knowledge.

Not blind and not about to let himself fall victim to Duo's relentlessness so easily, Heero kept a firm grasp on his upper hand. It was clear Hilde was a weak point in Duo's defenses and Heero drove persistently at it. "I may be just an ignorant spacer to you, but it doesn't take much to see that you use Hilde just like you use everybody else!" he accused, hardly cognizant of the hollow silence the enveloped the classroom or the way every pair of eyes there was trained intently upon him and Duo. "You're quick to flash her around on your arm when she's there, but you forget her the second you're away from her." Heero tossed his head contemptuously, brushing a thick shock of hair out of his eyes. "How selfish are you?"

It was clear from the electric spark that crackled around Duo's ocean blue irises that Heero had pinched a rather tender nerve. "My romantic life doesn't need to be an open book, Spaceboy," he snarled menacingly, his voice dipping down into a threatening whisper. Their gazes clinched, grating against one another like the hewn edges of two rough blades.

Heero wet his lips, smelling the challenge as it brewed thicker. "You sure as hell treat it like it should be - at least from what I've seen." He reached back and tossed the cover of his textbook over, closing the heavy tome with a loud slam, still regarding Duo warily. "I'll bet you couldn't even go over there right now and kiss her in front of everyone."

Somehow, the stone silence in the room became even more still at this new dare. Duo's lower lip trembled, though whether it was out of fear or pure rage was hard to discern. When he couldn't think of anything else to retort, his head swiveled in Hilde's direction, his eyes pleading for any scrap of help she could offer, but there was nothing. For her part, Hilde looked just as frightened as Duo, not so much for the notion of kissing him, but for what it might mean for her friend. Part of her wanted to storm right over there and smack Heero Yuy across the face for being so presumptuous, but she knew in her heart of hearts that the exchange student really had no idea of what he was meddling with.

And of course, Dorothy, in her completely unhelpful manner, had to pipe up and say: "Oh, do! You never kiss her in public!" She seemed delighted by this whole suggestion, but there was something barbed about her conduct, as if she hoped to see something become consumed by wildfire.

Duo's feet stumbled clumsily over one another as he pivoted in place, taking stock of all the expectant eyes that were now fixed solely on him. One flip-flop wriggled off his fidgeting foot and was then promptly trampled over, causing him to trip forward a little bit. He caught himself awkwardly on one of the desks, hating how maladroit his display was. Kissing Hilde - that was pushing the charade just one step too far! He reverted his sharp glare back at Heero, pouring as much malice into one expression as he possibly could and prayed that Heero felt the brunt of it.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Go on!" Heero pressed, a bit smug that he'd finally managed to best Duo at his own game. He arched his stern eyebrows at Duo expectantly, crossing his arms as he leaned back against his desk. "Or can't you do it? I thought so...."

Duo glared murderously at Heero for a few seconds longer before tossing an apologetic shrug in Hilde's direction. Still, he couldn't bring himself to walk over to her with the purpose of putting his mouth on hers in mind, even if it was for his own good in the long run. It just sat oddly with him. And, with another glance at Heero, disregarding the current situation for just a moment, he found he especially couldn't bear to kiss Hilde with him watching. For a brief moment, repercussions be damned, Duo thought he might even just throw caution to the wind, straddle Heero's lap and kiss him instead. It was what he felt the most explicit urge to do, anyway.

Duo might have continued to stand there for quite some time, floundering helplessly as he waffled between his various options, if Hilde hadn't taken the initiative to salvage things. "Don't worry about it, Duo," she said, hoping she sounded convincing. "You don't have to prove anything to this crew." She tossed her head in Dorothy's direction.

Hilde's words seemed to rejuvenate Duo's usual gusto. "Hell yeah," he agreed heartily, though his eyes were still trained upon Heero. He reached down and grabbed Heero by one lapel of his blazer, jerking him to his feet. "I told you, Spaceboy: stay the fuck outta my way, you got it?" He pressed the tip of his index finger savagely into Heero's sternum, loving the way the pressure threw Heero off balance.

However, Heero wasn't nearly as pulsed by the threat as Duo might have hoped. Instead, Heero just raked his stormy blue eyes up and down Duo's figure, a defensive cluster of emotions shielding his face. "You really are selfish, you know that?" he accused Duo as he turned away to gather the books on his desk. He hugged them tightly to his chest and added softly, "Just what are you trying so hard to hide?"

Those words seemed to really do the trick at inspiring a wild bout of passion from Duo. Just as Heero was turning to walk out of the room, Duo's hand shot out and clamped viciously around Heero's upper arm, holding him fast. The sudden weight on Heero's arm caused it to jerk out of place, sending the armload of books he was carrying tumbling down over their shoes. Duo was fortunate that his exposed feet were assaulted only by the beaten, paper copy of Dubliners that fell from Heero's cache; he snatched the book up off the floor and pressed it savagely back into Heero's chest, the hand that was still tightened around Heero's arm jerking the exchange student this way and that as the longhaired boxer moved. Then, seamlessly, he whirled on his heel and headed for the hall, gauchely dragging Heero behind him.

He didn't let go of Heero until they were safely out in the hallway, a good ten or so feet away from the classroom door. Most of the classes on that floor were still in session and the corridor's silence was made even more eerie by the tired, yellow diamonds the brilliant afternoon sun was casting through the windowpanes along the wall, as if the lethargy of the day was something hanging in the dusty air. Duo whipped Heero around by the arm, flinging him onto the lone bench beneath the row of windows. "You want to know what the fuck I'm hiding, huh?" Duo asked, banging his hands down on the back of the pew, barring Heero in place. "You really are an idiot spacer if you - of all people! - couldn't figure out what the hell it is I'm apparently not being clear about."

Heero's breath was tattered, and he could feel his heart palpitating even in the very soles of his shoes. Since he'd first met Duo, he'd caught glimpses of what seemed to be a hidden reality, yet every time Heero thought he'd seen Duo Maxwell for what he was, he found that whatever he'd grasped was nothing - a mere esper that slipped like smoke through his fingers. It became very clear to Heero then that Duo was so caught up in juggling his various faces that he'd long since forgotten which one was actually his.

"Fine, then, I'll spell it out for you! I sure as hell hope you know how to string letters together, 'cause I ain't repeating myself," Duo was continuing, his harsh voice sounding much louder than it actually was in the stony halls. He pinched Heero's chin, squishing Heero's cheeks between his fingers as he imprisoned Heero's attention with his thorny glare. "I'm fucking gay, Spaceboy. G-A-Y. As in queer - a faggot, a homo - whatever the hell your word of choice is," Duo grit out, his rage doing well to stamp out the touchiness of the subject.

Heero blinked, chewing the information slowly until he was good and ready to swallow it. Pondering on it, he wasn't so sure that this was really news to him at all, though it certainly shed a new ray of light on some of the things that had transpired between him and Duo thus far. At the moment, he wasn't really sure he had an opinion on the matter for the time being anyway. "Is that all you had to say?"

There was a brief fluctuation in Duo's expression, like he'd been anticipating Heero to be more distressed or repulsed by his announcement. His darkened eyes rolled to the left, pinning the paneled wood finish on the wall behind Heero's head with his bent stare. "I should've known you wouldn't get it," he grumbled morosely, releasing Heero's face with an unnecessary push.

Air hitching in his throat, Heero craned his neck in an effort to turn his head from Duo; the heat of the boxer's breathing wasn't doing much for the odd drumming of his heart, and frankly, it was only serving to remind him of the night Duo had kissed him at the party. Every time he was met with the memory of that particular night, Heero wanted immediately to forget it, trying to write it off as a flyaway, haphazard thing that was inconsequential for both of them. Much to his growing frustration, every time he did, he found it harder and harder to tuck it behind so simple a disguise.

"Nevermind. I don't know why I should even bother to explain. It wouldn't make a difference to you anyway," Duo was saying, finally pushing off and flopping down on the bench beside Heero, though there was still about a foot of space between them. His legs were stretched out diagonally from his slouched hips, his arms tossed lazily over the back of the bench as he rested the top of his head against the wall behind it. His thick braid of hair trailed over one shoulder and across his lap, coiling like a sleeping serpent next to his thigh.

Heero fisted his hands and stared straight ahead at the blank stretch of wall opposite them. "I don't know why you think it's such a big deal." Heero didn't care, really; he'd known a few openly gay people at Saint Anthony's and had never thought twice about it.

This caused Duo to jolt. He spun around to face Heero, slamming his hand vengefully into the wall and upsetting the framed Exodus painting hanging over their heads. "Are you fucking blind? Have you seen how the hell they run this joint?" he queried, clearly aghast at such a suggestion and that Heero could be so nonchalant about it. "You really are lost, Spaceboy."

Though he could feel the passion radiating off of Duo, Heero didn't turn to look at him, sure that his mental image of Duo's countenance would suffice well enough. He leaned back and hoped he seemed casual as he said, "If that's the case, then I'm not the only one."

Duo blinked incredulously at Heero's profile, flabbergasted. "How could you say that so calmly?" he demanded to know. He didn't appreciate being written off so easily, especially when it came to something he thought was so particularly important. "My father had been telling me that being gay was wrong since before I even said my first word," Duo went on, stirring his sleeping coil of braid back to life as he rearranged himself on the bench. "Do you know how badly I panicked the day I realized I was? It was the first day I ever cried - like really fucking cried."

It was odd listening to Duo tell this story. His tone wasn't as hateful as before, but there was a definite trace of bitterness there. Heero wondered what had inspired Duo to even mention it at all. Finally, he managed to turn his head towards Duo, immediately drawn to the white-knuckled grasp Duo had on the tail of his long braid and the way he was feathering it between the fingers of his other hand.

"I don't give a fuck anymore, though," Duo said suddenly, snapping apart the quiet that had befallen them for a few moments, that guarded air creeping back into his voice. "My dad sent me here the day he caught me kissing one of our parish's altar boys in the vestry - said I needed cleansing or some shit." Duo scrunched his nose with disgust as if a nefarious odour had suddenly descending upon him. "And Mother Superior tries her damndest, but so far, I'm still gay as a maypole and a girl has yet to make me as hot as I get for the boys." Slipping back into his crude habits seemed to relax the longhaired boxer; he desisted with his neurotic fidgeting and that familiar demonic smirk was lazily twisting his lips. He arched a suave eyebrow at Heero as he added with a deeper intonation: "Or as hot as I get for you, Spaceboy."

Heero was still watching Duo carefully, blinking owlishly at the other teen and trying hard to disregard how dry the air in his throat suddenly tasted. He empathized with having to live in the cold shadow of an imposing paternal figure - particularly one like Pastor Maxwell, who shared some uncanny traits with his grandfather. For the first time, he realized that perhaps he and Duo weren't as different as it initially seemed. Yet he couldn't help but notice the lines around Duo's smile and the dark hollows around his eyes - how tired of it all he seemed. "I think you care more than you let on," Heero observed aloud, compressing his internal musing into one statement with a rather thick swallow. "Otherwise you wouldn't go to such lengths to hide such a core part of yourself." Then he sat back and thought about what he'd just said, concluding that he'd made the proper assessment after a few moments of consideration.

"Bullshit," Duo was quick to say. He turned his nose into the air and crossed his arms in an almost bratty fashion. "I just don't need more people ragging on me." His plum blue eyes dropped towards Heero, now wearing a more grim face. "I don't need you ragging on me, Spaceboy."

Heero tossed his shoulders ever so slightly and scratched his forehead through his thick fringe. "I'm not," he insisted weakly, not really in the mood for a debate. Things like that seemed to fuel Duo's very existence, though.

"Yeah, right," Duo deadpanned flatly. "I know you're judging me, just like everybody does." He skipped to his feet, the weighed end of his braid flicking like a rogue pendulum behind him. His flip-flops thwacked the stone floor with loud, empty echoes as he moved about. "You're not better than me, you know. You're just like anyone else - nothing special," Duo continued, his index finger straightened accusingly between Heero's midnight blue eyes. "Sitting off in your high and mighty corners like you're some kind of prophet descended from the moon - where'd you get that divine right from, huh?"

Any traces of vulnerability that had once filled Duo's words were gone in a flash, but for the life of him, Heero couldn't figure out what it meant. It was evident that Duo had been scorned enough in life to forge himself an uncannily bitter existence, almost to a point where he came off as maybe even a little paranoid. Heero elected not to mention any of this out loud, though, especially after Duo's last comment. He didn't want to give Duo more reason to dislike him - for Duo to shower even more attention upon him. That simply wouldn't do! Instead, his eyes drifting nervously from Duo, offhandedly, he muttered again, "I'm not...."

Duo wasn't willing to listen to any of it, though. "Some people are born so much closer to the sun," he grimaced, throwing his arms in the air and pacing with agitated energy back and forth in front of the bench. "All you spacers hog the warmth."

Heero shook his head, his voice still a low mumble: "It's much warmer here than anywhere out in space." Daringly, he cast his eyes upwards, jolted by an unexpected spark when he met Duo's eyes from beneath his thick lashes. He quickly found interest in his lap, where he'd fisted his hands tightly.

"Oh, but of course that's not you and me," Duo said, tossing his hands forward as if to say he didn't care, still treading a small ring in front of Heero's bench. "You don't think it matters, and I wouldn't know the difference," he stated, not even bothering to pose it as a question. It was hard to tell what he was getting at with his riddling commentary.

Heero dared another glimpse in Duo's direction, once again taken by the boundless energy powering his circular discourse. He wondered what motivated Duo so.

He wasn't granted much time to wonder about it, because Duo swooped down on him again. "Just where are you going, anyway, Spaceboy?" he asked, looming over Heero in another effort to appear imposing.

Somewhat taken aback by this sudden question, Heero bit his lip, his brain overwhelmed by dozens of potential responses. At the end of it all, though, he elected to just admit the simple truth; "To L3," he said as succinctly as possible.

Duo drew back, clearly not expecting to get such a forward response. Once again, the aggression drained out of his voice for a moment. "You're not one to cut corners, are you, Spaceboy?" he said, stepping back, his arms crossed thoughtfully over his chest. "What's way out on L3, huh? Adventure? Glory? You don't just up and head that far off for no reason."

"Nothing," answered Heero before he realized what he was admitting. When Duo's eyes widened slightly, marking the approach of a scathing comment, Heero was quick to continue, the consequences be damned. "There's nothing on L3: no family, no friends - just nothing. That's why I want to go there - to start over." He gasped a sharp breath, willing himself to silence. There was no use in explaining his plans to Duo.

Duo was eying him with a hint of disbelief, his cheeks rounded suspiciously beneath his large eyes. "To L3 to start over," he repeated flatly, incredulousness leaking heavily from his words. "With just the clothes on your back and the stuff in your suitcase, you're gonna leave everything behind." He didn't seem to buy Heero's bold claim in the least.

Heero shrugged, not really caring whether or not Duo believed in his capability to make it happen. "Don't have much, but I've got what I need," he said by means of explanation. "Right at the heart of matters, it's the heart that matters more." He didn't care if he sounded unrealistic; he knew if he had anything, he had tenacity, and at the end of the day, sometimes that was the only worthwhile trait to possess.

"Right, you keep trying to walk on water, there," said Duo, his hands moving to his hips as he tilted his head with a droll turn of his eyes. "When you start drowning, don't expect me to come diving in after you."

At this, Heero found himself thrown over the arm of the bench as a rouse of uncontrolled laughter tumbled over his tongue. He pushed a fat chunk of his mahogany brown fringe up and pinned it to his scalp with the heel of his hand so he could see Duo's reaction better as he said, "I told you you're afraid." He threaded his fingers deeper into his thick hair like he was trying to squeeze the amusement out of his brain. "Your disguises are so big for you, you're getting tangled and stuck in them!" The irony Heero found here caused the Japanese exchange student to roll with even more fits of laughter, much to Duo's growing frustration.

"At least I'm not suffocating myself in a sack of delusions," Duo snapped, his mood crackling back to defensive mode. He started pacing again, though this time his hands were twisting fervently together with anxiety. "And stop laughing at me! I'm not funny, Spaceboy!"

Heero tried to sink his teeth into his lip, but to no avail. He actually had to get to his feet and pace himself to alleviate some of his own uncontrollable energy. He just couldn't help but be amused by how a person as charismatic and commanding as Duo allowed his life to be so far out of his own control. He realized then that Duo truly was a servant to Earth's gravity.

Finally, Heero managed to quell his outburst, resting heavily on the back of the bench as he assessed Duo's stooped form once more, still greeted by a shattered young man. "Nothing ever comes to he who doesn't try," Heero said, hoping that might serve to make things more understandable for Duo. "I think you have the wrong perspective - maybe if you looked through heaven's eyes, saw the wide breadth of things...." He referenced the crooked Exodus painting over the bench with a nod of his chin, thinking the image of Moses and his liberated people looking out over Canaan did well to illustrate his point. Not that it mattered; he wasn't really sure Duo was watching, or even really listening for that matter.

Heero's words hadn't really done much to encourage Duo, and if anything, he was more disparaged than he'd ever been. "It's easy for you to say that, Spaceboy," he muttered darkly, his eyes fixated upon the cracks in the stone tile beneath his feet. "Bound by nothing, you can be free," he went on, his voice dropping in volume with every word as he hung his head. "Me - me, I'm tied down."

At this, Heero felt another pang in his chest, but it wasn't bred of mysterious, vague emotion he tended to endure whenever Duo was involved, but more of an all-encompassing, humane sort. Despite all the fanfare and decadence Duo seemed to be so partial to, a broken child was still a broken child, and it was now clear to Heero that life had burned Duo almost completely to ash. He wanted to reach out and hold Duo, but couldn't bring himself to for fear of stamping out something within Duo's very being with his clumsy touch.

In that moment, Heero felt an illness rooted deep in his belly and then wished he knew a way to save someone other than himself.

++++

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