[catholic schoolboys rule!] Title: Space Oddity
Author: Link Worshiper
Pairing: implied 1+2
Stuff: slight angst, sap, Heero POV and David Bowie
Disclaimer: The voices in my head say I own it. That apparently doesn't matter... BUT IT SHOULD.

This shit is un-beta read, but Natea gave it a once-over to make sure it wasn't total crap. I think I might do a little sequel bit for this as well. We'll see how it goes.

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2034: This is Preventer ground control to Major Yuy: we're still awaiting confirmation that all systems are a go. Please double-check all your personal equipment, oxygen lines and self-propulsion gear and make sure that it is suitable for zero gravity environments. Please also review the priorities checklist for heightened efficiency during the damage assessment of the satellite's outer hull.

2046: Preventer ground control to Major Yuy: the satellite airlock is ready to receive you. Please make your final check and standby.

2053: Preventer ground control to Major Yuy: commencing countdown. May God's love be with you.

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1

The outer door snapped open with the final tone of the countdown, and the sudden light that spilled into the airlock forced me to cast my eyes to the side. No matter how many times I would venture out into space in my lifetime, I knew I'd always been startled by how bright it actually was out there, especially this close to a planet. Martian light was rosy red, I noted dully as my feet started to lose contact with the metal floor.

With a push, I launched myself out into the vast spacescape, taking a few moments to reacquaint myself with the boundless sensation that went along with free-falling. The job they'd assigned me today was a simple one -- one I was sure I could complete in half the required time -- so I allowed myself to relax. This was the only time anyone ever allowed me to simply think in peace.

Mars hung before me like a great, round piece of red coral on a chain of colonial satellites, a prototype fleet of which had been launched a mere six months ago. I wasn't sure if I was as invested in the idea of living there as some other people were, but this was what was happening in the moment, and it was where I was needed... I guess.

I turned my head back towards Earth and more familiar terrain. From so far away, even with all those worldwide wars behind us, Earth still looked blue. I supposed that there was no amount of heroism that could save tragic Earth from her melancholy. Maybe it was just the nature of the place -- something to be expected from the planet that had bred the human race: we were destined to live a life of sadness, forever surrounded by stardrop tears as the universe wept for our sins.

Sin and sadness. My breath clouded the visor of my helmet as I mouthed the words. These were the things that made me human: that was what I'd come to discover after all the hardships I'd endured. I'd learned what it meant to feel at the cost of realizing how lonely I was. I wondered if it was so much to ask for just that much more from him when he'd already given me so much. He had been my friend when nobody else would be -- shot through all my defenses with the tenacity of who who had been fired from the barrel of a gun. It made me wonder what he saw in me, a thought that was perpetuated mostly by a streak of personal masochism that had been born of that very sin that made me human at all. Maybe he recognized that in me as well....

2121: This is Preventer ground control to Major Yuy: status check?

The voice jarred me, and if it were possible to fall in space, I think I might have. I flung my hands out to either side like I meant to save myself, even if there was no use in even trying. I had no control over anything, just a cog in a grand machine. If I'd have known that he was going to just vanish after the war, I might have gone running after him -- might have mustered up the nerve to say something. But I was just sixteen, clumsy and shy. That's the story of my life, really: even so many years later, I really don't feel like I've learned much since then. I wondered if he'd been trying to say something to me with his absence, perhaps something like I'd meant to imply to Relena. When I turned my back on her, did she feel the same way I do now? Even if she did, I don't know that I'd undo it, but what would that have cost?

2133: Preventer ground control to Major Yuy: do you copy? Are you there, Major Yuy?

I grunted a brief reply to let them know I wasn't dead, but I didn't quite feel the same. Floating felt so alien all of the sudden, like it was an altogether new sensation, and for some reason, the stars seemed so very different today. It was as if I'd never realized the true expanse of the plane upon which they danced, and for the first time, they were beckoning me to explore just how far they could run, daring me to give chase. I couldn't tell if they were teasing me with the notion that somewhere out there, I would find Duo, but I felt as if I had been gathered up by a long-winded breeze that would somehow carry me to him.

2137: Ground control to Major Yuy: please acknowledge with a standard response to confirm your status.

I was exhausted, but words found their way to the comm link anyway: I'm standing on the edge, I announced, moved by this stillness that had flooded the core of my being. My voice seemed like it didn't belong to me, disembodied and detached. It's going to be... a glorious day, my ghost voice narrated. I feel my luck could change.

2138 Major Yuy, you're breaking up. Are you reaching the edge of the communication zo--

White noise filled my ears as I continued to drift, trusting the stars to know the way. I felt like I was of the universe, a living, breathing part of this stream that brought us all together and yet left us so far apart. But I would hang on here, right where I belong. Here until I was gone...

Closing my eyes, I could picture his face in the darkness, and I knew I'd pray that the days would forever stay in bed so I'd never have to open them again. I wondered if his eyes were still so blue, his smile so wide, his hair so, so long....

I shouldn't think about it. I won't.

But I know I will.

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End

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