Title: The Dish Wars
Author: ralphiere
Pairing: 1+2, 1x1
Rating: R
Warnings: language, frottage, masturbation
Disclaimer: Don't own them, and don't fret, none of the characters are minors ^_^

Notes: This was totally inspired by the gals at OTP Con, especially Jana, who made me realize that just about anything can lead Heero into masturbation!!

Thanks to bleedtoblue for looking it over as I was writing it.

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The man was evil. Alluring, sexy, beautiful, and evil. There was a reason that Heero had waited until midnight to do the dishes, tiptoeing into the kitchen and filling the sink as quietly as he could. When they'd been looking for apartments this one had been perfect. Oak hardwood, floor to ceiling windows, and off street parking. They were both willing to overlook the tiny galley kitchen when they signed the lease. How often would they be in it at the same time anyway?

Heero couldn't remember the last time he'd stepped into it and been alone for more than thirty seconds.

He'd waited until the lights had been off in Duo's room for over an hour and had been confident that the silence meant his roommate was sleeping. It was like Duo had a hidden sensor for the smell of dishwashing detergent, it never failed.

"Are you sure you don't want a grilled cheese?" Duo asked, shifting slightly to grab a spatula off the rack, pressing against Heero's back in the process. "It's no problem making you one."

"I'm all set," Heero muttered through gritted teeth, his hands submerged in soapy water as he tried in vain to move closer to the sink. Even with his groin digging into the edge of the sink he could still feel Duo behind him, all heat and muscle. He couldn't stop his body from responding.

"Okay." Duo shrugged, flipping his sandwich over and stepping slightly away from the stove.

Heero could feel the pockets of Duo's jeans through the thin material of his flannel sleep pants and he couldn't stop the images from forming. The way Duo's ass looked in his jeans, all perfect curves - bending over, squatting down. He bit the inside of the cheek and forced himself to focus on washing the glass in his hand before he shattered it by mistake. Duo started humming, his body swaying slightly to the song in his head. Heero swore he could feel the slight flexing of Duo's buttocks against his own and he bit his cheek harder to keep from groaning out load. He put the glass he was washing into the draining rack, felt around until he found a mug, and started washing again.

"Sorry, I need a plate," Duo said softly, suddenly right behind Heero, reaching over his shoulder to the cabinet above the sink. Now it wasn't Duo's ass that was teasing him through his pants and that was way too much. The hardon that Heero had been frantically trying to will away was back with a vengeance, pushed up against the edge of the sink by the clueless man behind him.

It took everything Heero had to keep his focus on the dishes as Duo finally managed to grab a plate and close the cabinet again. He heard the plate being set on the small counter next to the stove, heard the sandwich hitting the plate, then heard the hiss of air between Duo's teeth as he burned himself and jerked back from the stove. Heero couldn't help the sound that escaped his throat when Duo was against him. How could he help it when the action was rubbing his erection against the edge of the sink?

"God, Heero, did I hurt you?" Duo's tone was filled with concern as he reached to turn on the cold water and stick his burned fingers under the stream. Duo had stretched, pressing against Heero's hip . Heero could feel the tickle of Duo's breath over his neck as his roommate spoke. He couldn't take any more.

"I'm fine!" Heero snapped, turning away from Duo and the dishes, and stalking out of the kitchen. He shut the bathroom door louder than he'd intended, but he couldn't help it. Duo's sadistic streak must run deep because he kept pushing Heero to the limits of his control. Who needed a fucking grilled cheese at midnight?

He locked the door before leaning shakily against the bathroom sink. There was only a moments hesitation, when he turned the tap on to drown out any sound, before pushing his pants down over his hips and taking hold of his hard cock. Evil, the man was evil. Fleeting thoughts of blame mingled with images of Duo in his mind as he stroked himself, leaning over the sink with his forehead pressed against the mirror, his eyes closed against his reflection.

He let his mind go, imagining turning from the dishes and grabbing Duo with soapy hands. Kissing his lips, rubbing up against him, letting his fingers explore beneath his cloths. After the torture in the kitchen it didn't take long to bring himself off, spurting into the sink as the running water washed the evidence down the drain. He opened his eyes and glared at his reflection, as if daring the man in the mirror to criticize.

A soft knock on the door pulled him out of his dazed state. "Yes?" He roughly pulled his pants up and stuck his hands under the running water.

"Are you okay?" Duo sounded unsure, making him feel guilty for snapping at him. It wasn't like Duo was doing this on purpose, right?

"I'm fine," Heero answered, swinging the bathroom door open. He'd intended to apologize until he got an eyeful. Duo had changed and was now bare-chested wearing sweatpants with so many holes that little was left to the imagination. The smile that he'd summoned as a peace offering was replaced with a scowl as he brushed past Duo towards his bedroom. Duo was totally doing this on purpose.

Heero slammed the door hard, not caring which neighbors he'd pissed off. The rant gearing up in his head was interrupted when he heard Duo laughing just outside his door. It was sad that Duo's deep, throaty chuckling could almost make him forget why he was mad to begin with. Almost.

"What?" Heero growled, throwing himself down on his bed and covering his eyes with his arm.

"Can I come in?" Duo had stopped laughing, but his voice was still laced with mirth. Before Heero could answer, he heard Duo open the door and cross the floor to his bed. He could feel Duo standing above him and grudgingly removed his arm, trying to remember to be angry once he saw Duo. Why couldn't he have put a shirt on?

"What?" Heero repeated, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I'm sorry," Duo said, his expression suddenly serious. "I'm not playing fair."

Heero narrowed his eyes, confused. "I don't get it"

Duo's lips quirked into a grin as his eyes pinned Heero to the bed. "I've been teasing you and I took it too far tonight. I'm sorry."

Wait? What? Heero's mind whirled as he stared at Duo. Teasing? Duo's been teasing? "I don't understand."

"I know." Duo's grin softened into a small smile before he turned towards the door. "Let me know when you do."

It was much easier to battle when one knew whom they were up against. Heero stared at the closed door for over an hour as his plan formed. Heero was done doing dishes.

This was harder than he'd thought. Heero wasn't sure if he was being tortured more by the smell of the dirty dishes, the weird blooms of colorful mold, or the fact that he couldn't clean it up. Well, if he didn't count having to make his last cup of tea in a soup bowl. Not that the dishes piling up in the sink seemed to bother Duo at all. The mess didn't deter Duo from dirtying them, if anything the man was dirtying more to see how far he could push it. There were many times when Heero was close to breaking, but all he had to do was conjure the sound of Duo's chuckling and the game was still on.

It took six days and twenty-three hours for his plan to work. Heero was watching a documentary on the Hoover Dam in the living room when he heard clattering and Duo swearing under his breath. As soon as the water started to run Heero allowed himself to grin. He forced himself to wait for five minutes before heading towards the kitchen.

Duo's head was bent over the sink as he tried to scrub dried egg yolk off a plate. Heero took a minute to take in Duo's profile before easing past him to the fridge, making sure to brush his hip against Duo's ass. "Hungry?"

"No," Duo growled, scraping at the egg yolk with his thumbnail.

"You sure? I could make you something?" Heero pulled some vegetables out of the fridge and positioned himself on the small counter directly behind Duo. It didn't take any effort to purposefully touch Duo from where he was standing, but it did take effort to focus on keeping his fingers intact as he chopped vegetables. He hadn't anticipated the affect this scenario would have on him.

"Yeah." Duo's voice sounded strained and Heero couldn't help but smirk. The dance had begun. A brush here, a little pressure there ... by the time Heero had finished the prep work and started cooking he could almost forgive Duo his teasing, this was way too much fun.

Heero took the pan off the heat and set it aside, it was time for the final step. Turning, he pressed himself flush against Duo's back, and reaching over his head he braced his arm on the cabinet where the plates were. "Is this why you insist on cooking while I'm doing dishes?" Heero asked, wrapping his free arm around Duo's waist and letting his hand rest against his water soaked t-shirt. He touched his nose to Duo's neck, loving the way Duo's body tensed then relaxed against him. "I should really just walk away and leave you to fend for yourself," Heero threatened, running his hand down Duo's stomach.

"But you won't," Duo replied roughly, reaching upwards and grabbing the back of Heero's neck with a soapy hand. "Now that you've figured it out you're having too much fun."

"I have my ways of getting you back," Heero promised, nipping at Duo's ear. "After you've finished the dishes."

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END

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